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Author Topic: Profound discontent  (Read 2075 times)
Linda
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« on: May 11, 2010, 11:02 PM »

I'm trying to tie into EA and make sense of this experience. Could profound discontent with just about every aspect of life be a reflection of the desire to return to Source;  when a soul feels so emotionally depleted and exhausted that it desires to be free of all illusions and attachments, that it wishes to let go, to surrender the false self completely and utterly, and intensely desires to see the dramas of the ego stop - and just return to Source where perhaps peace lies?  I can understand that these lessons are necessary from Pluto's point of view. Does this experience simply describe the process of transformation, of shedding a skin, of releasing an obsolete, stagnant element of the ego? What would the astrological correlations to such an experience be?

Thanking everyone.
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Dhyana
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« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2010, 11:24 PM »

..I second Linda's question.

Thanks,
Dhyana
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Steve
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« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2010, 11:57 PM »

Hi

I recommend reading one of Rad's recent posts
http://schoolofevolutionaryastrology.com/forum/index.php/topic,224.msg2837.html#msg2837
which says very well what is going on.

This is an important subject at this time as there is an increasing sense of desperation futility depression (Saturn),  and with that Saturn back in Virgo, of crisis associated with the Saturnian feelings.  Lucifer is transiting in Cancer now, affecting our emotional patterns also.  As it gets clearer and clearer to the remaining humans who are still sane that the wheels are increasingly coming off the bus, the strength of these feelings is going to grow.  The more sensitive a person is the more they will emphatically pick up these emotions from the collective consciousness.

If anyone has questions or further thoughts, feel free to post here after reading Rad's post.
Steve
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Linda
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« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2010, 12:46 AM »

Quote
Rad said:

It's not so much a matter of 'strong' or 'weak' ego as it is how the individualized consciousness, Soul, is orientated to the ego's that it creates from life to life. And, of course, it is the nature of that orientation that correlates, in the end, to the very evolution of the Soul in the first place, which is, indeed, the basis of this work that we call Evolutionary Astrology.

Yet even within the apparent dark clouds there is Light. And that Light is eternal for that Light is, indeed, God. When most Souls try to mediate, at first, they experience an inner darkness when close their eyes: dark clouds. For any Soul, as the Soul's birthright, persists through the psychology of determination that inner darkness will turn into the inner Light that can be perceived within. And as that Light is perceived the Soul remembers how to merge, fuse, with It. And, as that merging itself evolves, the Soul remembers that natural path or way HOME. So even though Lucifer in now in Cancer, home, we must remember too that Lucifer also correlates with God: the bearer of Light. And that Light is meant to show us the way Home: Cancer.


Steve,

Thanks for sending Rad's link which I had read earlier. I'm certainly feeling the crisis aspect but self-adjustment also. Having this knowledge only strengthens and brings Light and understanding. I'm glad I posted this question - nipped it in the bud so to speak - as I have Neptune conj Asc and Uranus conj MC - and so yes, I'm certainly sensitive to my environment.

Would "anger" also form part of the Lucifer in Cancer effect?

How could one exactly determine the Soul's orientation to the ego? 

And what is a "weak" ego and a "strong" ego? 

Thank you both!
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stephen
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« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2010, 09:11 AM »

Hi,

  I felt moved to post on this subject, only because I think the following might help someone who reads it.  I am just typing here from the heart, not knowing where it is going, really.  The following is how I am being led to handle the darkness and 'profound discontent' and since it is working, and is aligned with EA Principles, I feel it would be appropriate to post this here.


  In October, I broke up, kinda like a rocket in re-entry.  It was DARK...and yes, I gave in to it.  In early February, through a series of nightmares (evil-at-the-foot of my bed sort of nightmares), I was faced with the decision...keep darkening, and stay lost, or give up my vision of my self (ego?...don't know), and do something radically different.  In mid-March, I surrendered to that pressure to give up my 'stance' and go WITH the push/pull pressure.  I use the word 'stance' on purpose, for it is both 'the bearing of the body while standing' and 'a mental/emotional positon adopted with respect to something.'  The word 'adopted' is the point here, I think...for it was self-chosen!  However, I wasn't aware that I had once made THAT choice, until I chose to give up THAT choice.  (I hope that makes sense...?)

  However, that left nothing to fill the void of THAT choice (with all of its attendant self-delusions, self-recriminations, self-defeating thoughts, etc.), which had previously driven many (most? all?) of my actions.  But...not so, for God'dess loves us, supports us, and provides for us...if we chose to be open to the reality of that.  God'dess gave us Sri Yuketswar, Yogananda, and Wolf Green, and thus a clear path...if THAT is our choice.  So...before October, I was gathering this information as squirrels gather nuts, but I had not really ingested/digested/nourished my self with it...I had just stored it away, in some mental arena, hoping that I would be allowed to store enough away until I could help others with it (not as a money-generating mechanism, for I have a solid-paying-career/pension-to-come/etc., but simply to help Souls uncover/discover/recover their own direction).

  Now (progressively since early March)...I am using this information as the template to help me rebuild my self.  (...pause...re-read that...)  I am told on this board that I am possibly 3rd Individuated tending toward 1st Spiritual...OK, good, a SIMPLE starting point.  (My chart is read in a thread on this board, but first I am starting much more simply in stating this process...)  Adina and Steve and Rad and Deva have I believe each stated that learning the Evolutionary States is one of the trickiest and most subtle and yet most important aspects of the EA Paradigm.  So, with that said, I have been reading and re-reading and re-rereading the posts/literature on the Evolution of a Soul.

  The evolutionary stages subject is continually being connected within the postings to the concept of Natural Law...so I have been taking notes on every single instance THAT subject is mentioned in all of the EA literature.  Nope, not just gathering nuts now...I am going to live in that way.  It is RIGHT to do so.


  I find now that I seek the TRUTH in myself, in the situations that I encounter, and in myself IN those situations.  I have almost no anxiety now, especially when I am alone.  I have a growing sense of immense gratitude for those who have provided this path so clearly.  I do not fear now, for I know the God'dess looks back up out of my own heart at me...and really sees me.  In truth, She (I have a 'She' view of God'dess) is allowing me to REALLY see myself, and has provided me the gift of gentleness to 'gently' see myself in the larger Cosmic context.  What was the vehicle for that?...the Evolutionary States and Natural Evolutionary Progression of the Soul.  She has clearly spoken to us through this material.  I do not need to have anger now, for I know the people who I attributed/projected/connected with that anger are acting in 'distorted' unNatural ways, as I did (and honestly...still do, but not always now).  How do I know that?...the concept of the Natural God'dess and Natural Law.  Once again, She has clearly spoken to us through this material.

  I could keep going (help me, I'm typing and can't shut up!)...but that is plenty to see my point.  Give up, give in, give away, give to God'dess...and receive much more than you gave.  As I see it, this is a daily mind-set, a daily commitment, NOT a momentary flash with everything rosy in the future rosy after the flash.  As they say in Zen, 'After the Awakening, comes the laundry!'  I have heard 'What Would Jesus Do?'  Now, I try to remember to think 'What Would My Soul Do?' or 'What Would My Soul Want Done?'


  She has spoken to me before, but I turned my back.  I did not know.  Now, thanks to this Natural Way...I will be allowed to know what I need to know...and know it for what it is!


  It seems so clear, now.  However, I would REALLY appreciate feedback...since in this change I probably have created problems which I have made myself blind towards!  Any light anyone cares to shine, any mirror anyone cares to hold up...Thank You.


  Thank You for 'listening.'  I hope that these words have clearly carried my intent, and I hope that this posting has helped someone.


Blessings,
Stephen

May all who read this find Peace in their Soul.

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Steve
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« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2010, 03:58 PM »

Hi Linda

Quote
Rad said:

It's not so much a matter of 'strong' or 'weak' ego as it is how the individualized consciousness, Soul, is orientated to the ego's that it creates from life to life. And, of course, it is the nature of that orientation that correlates, in the end, to the very evolution of the Soul in the first place, which is, indeed, the basis of this work that we call Evolutionary Astrology.

Yet even within the apparent dark clouds there is Light. And that Light is eternal for that Light is, indeed, God. When most Souls try to mediate, at first, they experience an inner darkness when close their eyes: dark clouds. For any Soul, as the Soul's birthright, persists through the psychology of determination that inner darkness will turn into the inner Light that can be perceived within. And as that Light is perceived the Soul remembers how to merge, fuse, with It. And, as that merging itself evolves, the Soul remembers that natural path or way HOME. So even though Lucifer in now in Cancer, home, we must remember too that Lucifer also correlates with God: the bearer of Light. And that Light is meant to show us the way Home: Cancer.


Steve,

Thanks for sending Rad's link which I had read earlier. I'm certainly feeling the crisis aspect but self-adjustment also. Having this knowledge only strengthens and brings Light and understanding. I'm glad I posted this question - nipped it in the bud so to speak - as I have Neptune conj Asc and Uranus conj MC - and so yes, I'm certainly sensitive to my environment.

Would "anger" also form part of the Lucifer in Cancer effect?

How could one exactly determine the Soul's orientation to the ego? 

And what is a "weak" ego and a "strong" ego? 

Thank you both!

The terms "weak" ego and "strong" ego came from Gonzalo's post that Rad was replying to.   Its not especially relevant to the questions you asked, but I believe Gonzalo was referring to a strong ego as a Leo-like one that was aware of the extent of its personal power and was well developed within that power.  And a "weak" ego more Virgo-like, with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy and inability.

I'm not sure how to answer your other questions.  Of course anger could be part of the Lucifer in Cancer effect.  But the source of anger can be much more than that.  Living in patriarchal, unnatural reality as we do, anyone attuned to the natural is going to, at times, feel deep anger over the distortions that have occurred and continue occurring, due to the sense of the violations of natural law simply feeling "not right".  Not to mention the personal pain and traumas we have experienced, as a result.  Anger does exist within natural law - it has its natural purposes.  Like everything else, it can get distorted and misapplied.

"The Soul's orientation to the Ego" - without being facetious, go look in the mirror and look deeply into your eyes - there you will see it.    Rad posted something great about this, this morning:

Quote
The ego does not exist of itself as something separate from the Soul. The ego in all of us is a reflection of what is going on within any of our Souls ... so the issue is never one of bringing the ego in line with the Soul.

Thus, the Soul's orientation to the ego reflects the desire nature of that Soul - the experiences the Soul desires are reflected within the Ego/personality.   Most of us, most of the time, identify wholly as the personality, a personality that "has a Soul" - that's our frame.  That is the source of the confusion since in reality I am a Soul who has created a personality/Ego for a limited duration of time.  It comes down to slowly and steadily breaking the hypnotized state of believing I am the Ego - that I am the Wave, not the Ocean.  The more I come to experience myself as Ocean not wave, the more all of this makes sense.


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Linda
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« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2010, 05:42 PM »


Living in patriarchal, unnatural reality as we do, anyone attuned to the natural is going to, at times, feel deep anger over the distortions that have occurred and continue occurring, due to the sense of the violations of natural law simply feeling "not right".  Not to mention the personal pain and traumas we have experienced, as a result.  Anger does exist within natural law - it has its natural purposes.  Like everything else, it can get distorted and misapplied.

"The Soul's orientation to the Ego" - without being facetious, go look in the mirror and look deeply into your eyes - there you will see it.    Rad posted something great about this, this morning:

Quote
The ego does not exist of itself as something separate from the Soul. The ego in all of us is a reflection of what is going on within any of our Souls ... so the issue is never one of bringing the ego in line with the Soul.

Thus, the Soul's orientation to the ego reflects the desire nature of that Soul - the experiences the Soul desires are reflected within the Ego/personality.   Most of us, most of the time, identify wholly as the personality, a personality that "has a Soul" - that's our frame.  That is the source of the confusion since in reality I am a Soul who has created a personality/Ego for a limited duration of time.  It comes down to slowly and steadily breaking the hypnotized state of believing I am the Ego - that I am the Wave, not the Ocean.  The more I come to experience myself as Ocean not wave, the more all of this makes sense.


Steve,

Thank you for your input and answers.

My eyes are very soft and kind-looking, but I can see the personal pain and trauma in them as well.

I just need to accept that my Soul is "orchestrating" my ego/personality, and even the discontent, for its own purpose.

It actually feels much better, more freeing, to identify with the Soul rather than the personality...and puts things in the correct perspective.
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JJ
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« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2010, 07:08 PM »

"Thus, the Soul's orientation to the ego reflects the desire nature of that Soul - the experiences the Soul desires are reflected within the Ego/personality.   Most of us, most of the time, identify wholly as the personality, a personality that "has a Soul" - that's our frame.  That is the source of the confusion since in reality I am a Soul who has created a personality/Ego for a limited duration of time.  It comes down to slowly and steadily breaking the hypnotized state of believing I am the Ego - that I am the Wave, not the Ocean.  The more I come to experience myself as Ocean not wave, the more all of this makes sense."

Hi Steve, (or Anyone)

Referring to your words above, in Western cultures is this experience of the actual orientation of Soul and ego more possible or probable when Pluto and Mars are in a phasal relationship that signifies a primary lifetime of working on the soul intentions? Or is it more specific to the spiritual evolutionary states? Or neither or both?

Thanks,

JJ
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Steve
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« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2010, 09:11 PM »

hi JJ

Quote
in Western cultures is this experience of the actual orientation of Soul and ego more possible or probable when Pluto and Mars are in a phasal relationship that signifies a primary lifetime of working on the soul intentions? Or is it more specific to the spiritual evolutionary states? Or neither or both?

The farther along the evolutionary ladder, the more the living awareness of self as Soul not personality.

Pluto and Mars indicating a primary lifetime means more evolutionary work is intended in that life.  Since the end intention of evolutionary work is to deepen the awareness of self as Soul, to the extent the intended lessons are learned, that can deepen the knowing of self as Soul. 

It is more possible or probable in a primary life only because the intention of that life is to make that Soul do certain necessary work.  Whether primary or secondary life, a soul is still in the evolutionary station it is in.  The issue is how much evolutionary advancement is intended.   There are other indicators of that besides Mars - Pluto, including # of aspects Pluto makes to other planets, # of planets in birth chart that are retrograde.
Steve
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JJ
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« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2010, 01:03 PM »

Thanks Steve,

Just wanted to clarify further this idea about the awareness of Self as soul in different evolutionary stages. It seems more natural in the spiritual stages, but it also seems possible, as you said, in other stages as well. Let's say for example, that someone is in the third stage individuated and they have dedicated their life to environmental protection; starting an international organization to protect endangered wilderness areas. From this place of dedication, this person sees himself as no different from nature and talks about his mission as being in service to life on earth - he is just speaking for the planet itself. So he draws a lot of strength from this awareness and is not daunted by the destruction he faces because of his identification with nature. He feels this is his soul mission. This might be an example of someone who hasn't necessarily progressed to the spiritual stages, yet still is empowered by the awareness of the relationship of his soul using his personality as a vehicle to do the work he was sent to do. Yes?

Thank you for your thoughts.
JJ
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Steve
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« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2010, 01:41 PM »

Hi JJ

Awareness of Soul is only going to begin in later 3rd stage individuated, accelerating as the spiritual stages are reached.  The definition of spiritual stage is increasing conscious awareness of the Soul, thus its not possible for it to exist consciously in earlier evolutionary stages.  "Knowing" something and living it consciously are two different things. 

What you described about the environmentalist is more of a mental orientation to Soul - awareness of it as concept more than as reality.    There could be exceptions - evolved people with a spiritual mission involving the physical - perhaps Gandhi.  In general, no.

The more one is living in the Soul the deeper the sense of alienation from all orientations other than that.  One increasingly feels things they used to consider really important no longer matter as much.  Growing awareness everything except the Soul is temporary.

I think Soul is one of the most misused words in the language.  Many talk about it, but is what they are talking about what it actually is?   (I claim no special expertise in that myself).
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chuck h
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« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2010, 03:02 PM »

Hi Steve,  Smiley

So, someone has Pluto in Leo in 9th conjunct NN, square Moon (from Scorpio), sextile Mars/Uranus, opposite Sun, sextile Neptune, and inconjunct Mercury...and six retrograde planets plus retro Chiron.  This means acceleration toward source is dizzying?  And ego/personality is to just get out of the way and sway with soul's intent?  How does one relinquish control to the point where we are but observers to our life?  Is, in this case, the ego's 'orientation' toward soul one of personally understanding it's intent?  Are discrimination and discernment thrown to the wind in Trust, so that soul is allowed, without restriction (even in seemingly difficult situations), to proceed unhampered?


Thanks a lot,  Smiley
chuck

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Steve
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« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2010, 03:10 PM »

Hi Chuck

Quote
How does one relinquish control to the point where we are but observers to our life?

The great gift with a chart heavily weighted towards growth is there is nothing you have to do to relinquish control.  Life (Pluto) will simply make it impossible at key times for anything else to occur.  Like good little humans we often resist til the bitter end, but in the end whatever is being resisted is removed from the life (Pluto) and the intention of relinquishing control is accomplished.   And here you thought you were having a hard life - its all been for your benefit, to accomplish the Soul's evolutionary intentions.

That is why, once we realize this, we learn to try to cooperate with, rather than resist, the intentions, as they appear in our life as we move along.  Even when they are difficult or painful.   That helps accelerate the process of relinquishing control, once we have learned to trust that it is for our benefit, it is on our side, it is not there to trying to mess up our lives no matter what it may feel like.
take care
Steve
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Linda
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« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2010, 03:15 PM »


The more one is living in the Soul the deeper the sense of alienation from all orientations other than that.  One increasingly feels things they used to consider really important no longer matter as much. 


Steve,

I also wanted to ask about the deep sense of alienation in the 1st stage spiritual.  Sometimes my sense of alienation feels more like 2nd stage Individuated in its intensity. Could the sense of alienation in the 1st stage spiritual be even more intense than that experienced in the 2nd stage individuated?  Recently I became involved with a friend and a group activity for the sake of assisting her, but the activity was not one I would usually get involved in.  Getting involved was detrimental to me - but strengthened my resolve to keep away from those activities, people and energies in the future.  Could you please talk more about the deep sense of alienation in the 1st stage spiritual? On an intuitive level, I personally believe this sense of alienation acts as a "separator," allowing us to avoid people and places that are not conducive to our spiritual condition. Does this make sense?
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Linda
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« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2010, 03:52 PM »


Recently I became involved with a friend and a group activity for the sake of assisting her, but the activity was not one I would usually get involved in.  Getting involved was detrimental to me - but strengthened my resolve to keep away from those activities, people and energies in the future.  


Steve,

I'm thinking that the above experience could have something to do with Missed Steps (my Pluto squares Nodes). 

Could "going back" to an old activity/friend mean that I am re-living those dynamics/issues in order to resolve Skipped Steps?

Going back there was traumatizing and felt like touching a hot iron.

Many thanks.
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