Ok… so lets start to look at Libra as it relates to the individual expression and how it gets complicated or distorted based on personal karmas and/or collective experience.
My personal observations show me that two main themes arise, Co-dependency and Denial.
Lets start with co-dependency ………….
Co-dependency is generally a learned way of relating that stems certainly from prior life conditions and early familial conditioning. At the heart of this complex is the idea or belief that love cannot be given and received freely, but is based on conditions… ‘I need to change or you need to change’….most commonly expressed as “I need to change you”. The person who engages in relationship with this as their leading edge is usually acting from a subconscious ‘need to be needed’. Relating back to Venus as the ruler of Taurus… something is amiss in their relationship to themselves! There are a lot of psychological dynamics at work here. Projection of suppressed or subconscious needs: a compulsive adaptability ( often a long karmic history involved, of conforming to others expectations) and forming unrealistic ‘images’ of those we relate to (not seeing them for who they are, but who one wants them to be).
I’m going to quote from my Libra chapter on this….. Basically because I wrote it already and no need to write it again
“When Libra is a part of the karmic signature, all sorts of complications in relating come into focus in the current life to be worked on and healed. Ultimately, as we remember and heal past relational wounds, the journey back to the self (Aries) happens. As we further integrate the Aries/Libra axis, self love becomes the foundation of our ability to have healthy relations. A natural quandary of the Aries /Libra polarity that beckons us to further integration is, how to have the freedom to be ourselves and still be in relationship. It takes a lifetime, even many lifetimes, to learn how to be fully yourself with another person, to be able to be open and not lose your center but also simultaneously not to be too self focused so that others can’t get in. To accomplish this is a balancing and synthesis of the Aries polarity of (Self-Identity-Independence), the inner side of Venus/Taurus (self-reliance), and Venus/ Libra (reaching beyond the boundary of the self). A further intention of Venus/Libra is to form relationships of equals, being neither greater/lesser, dominant/submissive, dependent/independent, or various other roles and polarities we can get involved in. “Not every relationship between two persons is an “I-Thou”, nor is every relationship with an animal or thing “I-It”. The difference, rather, is in the relationship itself. I-Thou is a relationship of openness, directness, mutuality, and presence. [ie..a relationship of equals] . I-It, in contrast, is the typical subject-object relationship in which one knows and uses other people and things without allowing them to exist for oneself in their uniqueness…”
Martin Buber - Philosopher 1947
We can start to imagine now all the ways relationships that are ‘I-it’ based can go wrong.
Two people coming together with ‘I-it’ scripts will never see each other outside of the mental construct they believe, think or want the other to be. We have to consider that, Eros aside, Venus/Libra, is an air sign, and falling in love or lust with what one thinks the other is and not a whole person, is a self-deceptive way to avoid growing beyond oneself and entering into real relationships! The ‘I-it’ relationship is in fact a relationship with oneself; it is not a dialogue, but a monologue. In this kind of relationship one person is more a satellite to the other than an equal partner. But it can also be subtler than that. Even the person who appears to be the caring, supportive one can have an ‘I-it’ script going on. The other is an it to be fixed…to fulfill an unconscious need to be needed, or further, to use the other and fixing his or her problems as a way to avoid ones own problems. This is a learned pattern of relating commonly called co-dependency. In modern psychology it is understood that co-dependency springs from the conditions and roles one played in one’s family. It is often our childhood (Libra natural square to Cancer) and then social conditioning (Libra natural square to Capricorn) that we are not to be accepted as we are, but need to change or conform to some other standard or another’s needs to gain acceptance or love. When we are raised this way ourselves, the model is then in place in our subconscious that this is the only way to have a relationship.
Venus as ruler of Libra has Neptune as the higher octave— conditional love that has the potential to evolve to unconditional love. Further, Neptune’s relationship to Venus would ultimately lead one to the awareness that the primary relationship is that with the Divine, which is the true source of unconditional love. Without this connection, we find ourselves “looking for love in all the wrong places.” Our experiences with our first care-givers (parents/family) form the blueprint about love that colors our mode of relating; think of the natural square to Cancer (Mother) and Capricorn (Father). Below is a list of unspoken ‘family rules’ that shape the way that relationships are expected to happen within the family, which have been identified as childhood causes of adult co-dependent behavior. In parenthesis I added some Venus/Libra correlations.
• It’s not okay to talk about problems (Pleasing aspect of Venus)
• Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself (Socially adaptive mask/denial)
• Communication is best if indirect; one person acts as messenger between two others; known in therapy as triangulation (non-direct distorted form of being heard or hearing)
• Make us proud beyond realistic expectations (conforming to expectations)
• Don’t be selfish (Denial of Aries polarity)
• Don’t rock the boat. (Further denial of Aries polarity)
• Above all be NICE!!! (Libra desire for peace and harmony)http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm
Ok so there’s some food for thought…can you relate??? Hahaha what do you think?