Ari and Dhyana
Wouldnt this apply to the nodes in the houses, even if the sign of the houses were different? I would have to say it does -- bc, for example, I have a 9th house SN and my husband has a 9th house NN. Of course the signs are different but not the houses. And the literal "in your face every day" is quite true for us.
I don't think this is true. It's necessary in synastry to determine the aspects that the nodes of one create with the other's chart. And also to determine where one's nodes falls in the other's chart. So your husband has a 9th house north node, however where does his north node fall in your chart, and what kind of aspects does it create? I see that your husband's south node falls on your 8th house cusp conjunct your 7th house Virgo Stellium of Mars Uranus and Pluto. That to me sheds some light on the "in your face" dynamic. In fact Mars=head.
Although he never wrote about it, Jeffrey mentioned on a few occasions something called "shared affinities", which is what you, Dhyana, are referring to. He mentioned that it is a very valid part of older astrology that has pretty much been forgotten in the present time.
I once made a PDF of a long article from about.com on this subject. Looking at it now I see I only captured the first page. And the article is no longer on the web. I am pasting what I have in here. (The disclaimer is this article is not from or about EA but regular astrology. You have to add the EA perspective to what is written here, starting with "why is this necessary in these lives?":
Shared Affinities in Astrology
(Where Synastry Comparisons and Composites Leave Off)
Have you ever compared the charts of two romantic lovers – and, in the end, you were somewhat stymied, stumped and basically bewildered as to what the attraction between the two people might be?
Then my suggestion would be to look for "shared" affinities in the birth chart. Shared affinities say: "Don't I Know You?" Shared affinities say: "We've been dealing with the same "stuff" all our lives…"
What's A Shared Affinity?
Okay... Here's an example of an affinity... the birth Sun placed in the sign of Aquarius is similar in energy to the birth Sun in aspect to the birth Uranus. Both of these energies are similar to the birth Sun placed in the birth 11th house.
Extending it, they're also similar to Uranus in Leo and Uranus in the 5th house. Some astrologers go as far as using the formula: Sun in Aquarius = Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House = Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house. Sun in Scorpio
While I don't take it quite that far - the energies (and resulting life task issues) are most definitely similar. And for simplicity sake – I'll be using this formula in subsequent examples.
You And Me Against the World
If two people share one of these affinities (similar energies) – the shared affinity says that these two people have experienced and are working through some of the same core, life task issues. And that's the bond! Shared affinities shout out: "Hey! I know you! We've been dealing with the same "stuff" all our lives…"
Example Of A Uranian Shared Affinity:
First… here's the Formula:
A. Sun in Aquarius = Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House = Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house
B. Moon in Aquarius = Moon aspect Uranus = Moon in the 11th House = Uranus in Cancer = Uranus in the 4th house
She has the Sun conjunct Uranus, and she also has the Sun in the 11th house. He has the Sun trine Uranus. This is a shared affinity between the two people.
She has the Moon conjunct Uranus, she has Uranus in Cancer, and she also has the Moon in the 11th house. He has the Moon sextile Uranus, and he also has Uranus in Cancer. This is a shared affinity between the two people.
These two people are dealing with the same life task issues encircling the archetypal energy of Uranus and "independence, freedom, excitement."
Okay now… would this "shared affinity thing" be a wee bit more convincing if I further told you that every "life-changing She" this guy has been "involved with" - the "life-changing She" has had the Sun in aspect to Uranus (and most had their Moon in aspect to Uranus)?
Look for shared affinities. They can be quite a powerful and binding attraction between two people
Here is another longer non-EA article on shared affinities that seems to include what I pasted in above: http://thezodiac.com/room.htm
I can say from my experiences both personal and with clients I've seen a lot of validation of this principle. We are talking about Soul Resonance, Souls who are constructed with similar, or complementary, natures. You can think of it as notes in a chord. Some naturally harmonize, others will always be dissonant. This goes well beyond past life contact. Its about vibrational frequency as God/dess created a Soul. That can never change, its the way they are naturally created. Its far beyond conditioning, which only gets in the way of what is naturally there.