Just an update, in case it helps anyone.
2008 and 2009 have essentially been about identity crisis>delusion & confusion>healing.I have also come to realize that based on the evolutionary stages (link below) that I have crossed substage 2 of the individuated state. http://schoolofevolutionaryastrology.com/forum/index.php/topic,25.0.html
I am now free of all ego-centric desires, do not feel a need to attain anything for personal glory, do not feel a need to rebel, have no fear of connecting back with people and society and as of now I am centered internally and experiencing real peace, absolutely nothing disturbs me anymore like everything just passes by or put more in a wordly way "in from one ear and out of the other". Everything written in the individuated state by Jeff describes my life so far with complete precision. And, I am very glad that I came across this material. Substage 3 of individual contribution to society is now to begin. It's quite likely that things start rolling in the creative direction once Uranus enters aries and trines my sun sign.
Another interesting thing that I came across were the sabian symbols from http://www.tarotforum.net/archive/index.php/f-127.html
I tried to gain a little deeper understanding of them by comparing my own past. And, here's what I discovered and it's kind of strange as well.
Moon's actual degree Sabian symbols in YYYY year solar return chart shows what happens "till that date in the year"..
Please do remember I am taking the actual degree of the Moon... say 8.30 would be 8 in my consideration and not 9 as traditionally used to interpret sabians. I have not thoroughly gone in depth but I do believe that the actual degree is the "outcome" and the next degree is the "quest of the soul that needs to be achieved or after which an outcome will happen". For example, my Sun is 13.xx in Sag. 14 degree is about Phoenix rising and 13 degree is "wistful young woman surprised into a warm relationship that she has felt alien to"..Now Pluto transited my sun 96-08..I am undergoing rebirth at this time..the Phoenix rising will happen...though lately since Pluto has freed my sun..I am more able to connect and experience warmth in one on one relationships..this was more pronounced before pluto going retrograde this year..but I can clearly see that this is the way it will be forward..and supports "connecting back to society" of the evolution.
Here's the retrospective analysis:
old: In the mahogany-paneled and magnificently furnished directors room a secret business conference has begun.
new: DIRECTORS OF A LARGE FIRM MEET IN SECRET CONFERENCE.
Interpretation: Business work, meetings with leadership, hush hush
What happened in my life?: I joined a large firm in Sep 2005. Before that, within the year, I had meetings with directors (CEO) of company in japan as negotiated 1 OEM agreement.
old: Standing apart from the passing stream of well-dressed shoppers, two Chinamen in San Francisco are talking Chinese.
new: TWO CHINESE MEN TALKING CHINESE IN A WESTERN CROWD.
Interpretation: Alienation due to unusual communication, understanding of a different type of information not of common culture
What happened in my life?: Different attitude and way of expressing myself landed me in trouble with authority figures at my present large firm. Start of the study of astrology explains the second part.
old:It's a seer's dream; vast masses of humanity push forward in frantic effort to cross the black chasm of knowledge.
new:MANKIND'S VAST ENDURING EFFORT FOR KNOWLEDGE TRANSFERABLE FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION.
Interpretation: Enduring pursuit of knowledge
What happened in my life?: Intense study of astrology the entire year! Seriously felt like going down and down into a spiral of knowledge. Enduring is an understatement!
old: Almost as if possessed with man's intelligence a tiny squirrel remains watchful on a limb hidden from the hunter's .
new: A SQUIRREL HIDING FROM HUNTERS.
Interpretation: Withdrawal, Observation, Reflection
What happened in my life?: Yup, bang on! Complete inner withdrawal to understand whatever I had been through till then.
old: A young woman, neatly attired in outing clothes, eyes softened by dreaming, awaits a sailboat headed toward her.
new: A YOUNG WOMAN AWAITING A SAILBOAT.
Interpretation: Waiting for opportunity, clarity, breakthrough
What happened in my life?: That's 2009 precisely. I have been waiting..waiting..waiting and waiting.
old:A mother is leading her children up a broad flight of steps. they enjoy the task of lifting little feet.
new:A MOTHER LEADS HER SMALL CHILD STEP BY STEP UP THE STAIRS.
Interpretation: Forward movement, Guidance
What happened in my life?: Let's hope so....Will keep you posted I guess.
Now, the reason I called this insight a little strange is that - YYYY solar return charts..say Dec 5, 2005...are essentially about the year forward from that date (Dec5,2005-Dec5,2006). How come a Moon's sabian symbol completely describes with such accuracy something which is part of the preceeding year. Any thoughts would be appreciated.