Thank you for delving into this. If I can get clarity and understanding about my own chart, then I can fulfil my desire to teach others. The intense and passionate thirst for knowledge is reflected by my Saturn Sag 2nd trine Uranus Leo MC. That is the only aspect Saturn makes in my chart, except for a sextile to Chiron Aquarius 4th.
If I recall correctly you see yourself as 1st stage spiritual, and have pluto less than one degree from the 11th house.
Yes, definitely 1st stage spiritual - and over the past year some 2nd stage experiences - but mainly in the 1st stage.
Steve says: It's been stated at different times that the % of people on earth in spiritual state is between 2% and 10%. In other words, what you know as reality within yourself can never be grasped by 90% - 98% of those around you, at this point in time. This in itself creates an intense sense of aloneness and alienation. And, alienation is inherent in the Aquarius/Uranian/11th house archetype. At the least that is your Pluto polarity point, and the evolutionary intent of your Pluto in this life (less than 1 degree from 11th house cusp).
I can totally accept this. In fact, I now enjoy the intense sense of aloneness and alienation because I have more time to focus on what is truly important to my soul. I thank God/ess I have friends here and a few close friends in the world, eg Chuck.
Steve: There IS no way you can integrate, or even accept, the mainstream consensus on its own terms. All your attempts to do so will result in futility (10th house), exhaustion, and even depression. The approach one must learn to adopt is to realize you can be (or, may have to be) IN it, but it has nothing to do with who you are. It's like, that is your CAREER (10th house), but it is not who you are and in itself will never complete you. That just has to be accepted. It comes with the territory.
Yes, I can totally accept this also. It was never my intention to accept or integrate into the mainstream consensus since earlier attempts were futile and resulted in exhaustion - I was expressing my aversion to it. But since concretely learning about my true 1st stage spiritual state (which has operated all my life), it has become much easier.
Steve: Also have to remember, you are not the Doer - the real work simply comes through you.
This is beautiful - and speaks to my soul! A lot has been coming through me lately - and I could not help but feel intense responsibility in the work (3 Capricorn personal planets!). Thank you for letting me see that it is not ME that is doing the work: this is wonderful!
Steve: It's not so much about you getting to use your gifts that would help others as it is about serving the needs of those God sends your way, whether two or twenty thousand. It would come down to timing, and patience. And acceptance of What Is at this time...
This has been occurring lately. I will gladly be patient and accept WHAT IS at this time.
Steve: As far as having to work in the mainstream, this too is likely temporary. You are not supposed to "like" it or feel at home there, you will not fit in (ever), and it has little to do with who you are. Really accepting that, deeply, helps.
Please understand that it was never my intention to "fit in" with the mainstream, as that was exhausted many years ago. Yes, the mainstream has very little to do with who I am.
Steve: Its not uncommon that even within situations like that, you wind up being of service to others, as you wind up in conversations with people who start revealing things they normally don't discuss, and then you have insight that helps them, eases their mind, gives them new approaches to consider. They would not normally have access to this, in the lives they have created. And then you are fulfilling a function that God has placed you there to do, helping others in the most mundane setting.
I don't really talk with mainstream people about spiritual things, but mainly talk with friends who come my way, and through astrology readings. I can offer these people little tidbits and a new approach as they already have an interest. I enter discussions with people who are open to hear, and who have an interest in spirituality. I am only involved with the mainstream for 6 hours per week (working in a chinese restaurant) so it is not really my intention to take these deep spiritual messages to them - at the same time I understand that they have made their own choices to be where they are.
Steve: The point is, in such circumstances you are always thrown back on yourself, to your baseline sense of who you are - out of that aloneness and alienation, you gradually become increasingly aware of greater depth within. Inner resolve strengthens, and you realize ever more that even though you may be stationed within the mainstream, it has nothing to do with who you are.
I am becoming aware of greater depth within
this is for sure. Thank you for helping me strengthen my inner resolve
...which affirms my deepest and true feelings.
Your answers have removed all conflict and made things clearer for me.
Many thanks Steve for your time and wisdom!