Ari, thanks for checking in. I DO appreciate your efforts! Jump in as you feel led to.
Lia, I FINALLY got to your analysis and questions and included the whole thing here, with my responses in an offset color. Thank YOU for your time and effort in doing this work to help others learn the method.
YES I second Deva on this; thanks for the responses this really validates the evolutionary picture that is unfolding via your chart and via sharing your actual reality relative to what we see in the chart is really helpful in validating EA!
It is marvelous to see the many layers of the correlations in this perspective....Thanks very much for your time and energy for the detailed responses.
I personally would like to ask how you see the reasons for the illness itself?
To me it seems that mercury on s.node which is obviously the ruler of gem. uranus is a hit back from the past (conj. s.node) so it is par of what needs to be resolved/culminated ---and want to say that how I see that culmination is happening (form what you shared) is a really heart warming culmination: finding peace and meaning (taurus/2nd house) in the process of winding the incarnation down (scorpio, where the ruler of uranus is in) in joyful (leo pluto ruling mercury) and fundamentally liberating ways (uranus itself which rules the 10th and ppp in it) is really MARVELOUS....
I maybe wrong but to me it feels like maybe this very experience has been intended to bring the final culmination to all the issues relative to the s.node....i.e. scorpio of course has a lot to do with death itself also death experiences and what the soul decides during those death experiences (which than affects the evolutionary process for the next life by way of the decisions made at that life closure point)
To experience this totally differently and thus shed all the past thought patterns symbolised by mercury on s.node....
Taurus n.node in the 12th: in the deeper sense of reality (which is related to uranus/aquarius for that symbol indeed contains the blueprint of saturn i.e. the manifested creation is but the consequence of the astral world blueprint) so that deeper sense of reality simply points out the eternity of life (12th house taurus) which of course isn't the physical form but the continuity of existence as a soul...so that becoming ever more conscious DURING the life of the body so to speak...providing the peace and the much sought joy and love relative to the soul (4th pluto and the other planets there as the skipped steps) and the realisation wherein that the TRUTH of the soul and the real KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING it gains (sun rules the leo planets and that is conj. to jup) CAN NEVER DIE... Yes, this is true; i.e., this knowledge, this understanding has moved from in intellectual understanding to an emotional understanding…. It’s being assimilated, so to speak (jup/sag)
So it's like taking the last step of life i.e. getting closer to the death process as the FULL recovery (actually in a paradoxial way=uranus!) from all the fears, judgments and entrapment issues that the s.node in the 6th in scorpio symbolised (of course along with the old masochism pattern)...like for so long it was the 'understanding' (mercury) of the different death experiences as some sort of 'punishment' during the upsisde down patriarchal era....and now embracing a totally different reality into that (saturn) which gives a different 'meaning' with a totally different value-association (taurus n.node ruled by venus in capr. in 8th- reality of the soul (capr. in 8th) with a recovered value association of taurus in the 12th)
It just seems marvelously meaningful to me, as your effort is to have as conscious as possible death experience....Isn't that the totally new way of applying pluto, saturn,moon with the will and intention of mars from the 4th to taurus in.node n the 12th instead of the 6th s.node - as before?
...I.e. recovering from all the previous perception of 'life and death' issues with a liberating new way (which is of course 'new' relative to only how it has been conditioned within patriarchy) and embracing a far wider far mor objective reality...the reality of aq. is also the reality of the astral world....
Is that explanation right according to your own understanding/inner reality?
Yes, in essence, that is it. And I'll expand on it from my own experience of it.
As you pointed out, Lia, the disease and the process I'm in are multi-layered. And it's a continuing unfoldment for me even now. The "first cause" of the emphysema is, of course, the underlying masochism--the continuing need to feel "punished" for both acquired AND learned guilt. Most masochists, I think, have a combination of both, by virtue of the fact that we're human and make mistakes. So, first of all this continuing need for "punishment," that began several lifetimes ago, and IS (THANK GOD) now culminating!
In addition to this, and just as important is the creation of the disease to teach me to never, never, never, opt out of the body/life experiences before my appointed time; i.e, commit suicide (Venus in Cap in the 8th being the lead point for the suicide) as a way of escaping any kind of feelings. The original feelings being deep guilt for betraying someone who had taken me into their confidence. This was done while I was being tortured, and while it's understandable to "cave" under those circumstances, it is still wrong, my soul KNEW it was wrong, and I couldn't live with the guilt. So again, the lesson is to in no way, under ANY circumstances to commit suicide again. Again, this is the culmination of the "paybacks" of the suicide.
Within that, (in no particular order), is the fact that I smoked to cover up / avoid (6th house) dealing with the extreme psychological/emotional/sexual abuse when I was a child. Although when I started smoking at 17 I had dissociated from the abuse and had no conscious memory of it, smoking KEPT those memories unconscious until I could deal with them, which happened at about the age of 41 or 42. So, even though I finally DID deal with those issues, part of the lesson that this disease has brought to light is to NOT dissociate - to not AVOID or DENY - but to BE present and deal with events AS THEY HAPPEN, obviously a much 'healthier' - albeit difficult - way to do it.
There are several gifts within this whole process... living with an incurable disease with a rather drawn out process of dying - and that is that in many prior lives my current life children (and others) and I have been separated, both suddenly and violently, and the gift now is that we have time together to put closure on this lifetime together.
Then within living out the rest of my life with this disease (difficult as it is) is also another great gift - similar to that of Gyanamata, a direct disciple of Yogananda, who lived in incredible pain for the last 20 years of her life. And that lesson is to STAY focused on God - dependent on God - in love WITH God - NO MATTER WHAT! I.e., it is also a TEST from God. (Yes, God DOES test us). In essence, it's part of natural law, in that "guano" happens. It's what we DO with what happens that matters. And I have to add that it may seem like a no brainer to remain focused on God, etc. no matter what, but when you can't breathe, it can become a real challenge. My spiritual teacher, Tayo, has given me ways to help, and the grace of God and Guru are forever filling in my gaps and THEN some!
I hope this answers your questions. Feel free to ask more as I sure could have forgotten something! And already I've had to come back and add a couple of things, so... ! CRS is also part of this disease! LOL
Something everyone might find interesting in the larger picture when counseling clients is that only 15% to 20% of the people who smoke ever even GET COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease - which includes chronic bronchitis and/or emphysema). Obviously, with that small of a percentage ending up with this disease from smoking, there are VERY individual underlying causes. Of course, smoking can cause a host of other problems as well.
Another way one can end up with emphysema is from an Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency. Alpha-1 is an amino acid produced in the liver, and its job is to protect the lungs from all sorts of outside invaders. People with this deficiency can GET Emphysema even if they never smoked! YIKES! I was tested years ago, and my Alpha-1 level was fine.
If not would you mind to share how do you see it experience it?
Much thanks for opening up your soul in these most profound ways...I am just happy that I can still help - still serve - as much as possible.
Love and Blessings to you all!
Love and blessings,