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Sun sign humor!

Started by ari moshe, Aug 16, 2011, 01:56 PM

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ari moshe

Hello beloved ea community!
I would like to share with you a little astro humor from my most recent full Moon report.  ;)

For this full Moon I wish to talk about the special meaning of the Sun, which is the natural ruler of Leo. Your Sun sign is the focal point for your soul's creative self actualization in this life. Through your Sun sign the entire evolutionary purpose of your life becomes actualized. Your Sun symbolizes where you are are to express yourself and fully shine your radiance.

Meditate for a moment on your own Sun sign. What does it look like to live everyday with a confidence and love that warms the hearts of all beings? Well, for some guidance, here is a brief and very serious description of the Sun in the 12 astrological signs from the point of view of a slice of Pizza.

*****

Sun in Leo: Your purpose is joy. Your pizza has lots of sweet yellow peppers. Each bite bursts with sun light orgasmic bliss in your mouth. Dress for the occasion!

Sun in Virgo: Your purpose is self accuracy. All toppings are to be cut into carefully arranged squares measuring 1 x 1 x .2 square inches. Eating is to be done in such a way as to enable optimum pleasure and digestion. Lean left, chew 34 times per bite.

Sun in Libra: I'm not sure what to put on this slice, what did you put on yours? Your purpose Libra is to find out what you need on your slice. However, in the process you will naturally experiment with all different kinds of toppings that do not reflect your actual toppings needs. Eventually you will find the balance that is right for you and in virtue of that, help others to do the same.

Sun in Scorpio: Your pizza is to be topped with psilocybin mushrooms as to encourage ego death shortly after eating.

Sun in Sagittarius: Directions: Understand the pizza through direct inner experience. Honor your natural insight and point all seekers back to the Pizza. Don't chew with your mouth full!

Sun in Capricorn: Your purpose is to be patient. You are absolutely allowed to eat and completely enjoy your pizza! Soon you will have your own Pizza store. In the mean time see the larger picture and following the appropriate steps.

Sun in Aquarius: Eat how you see fit. Your instructions are to observe the archetypal patterns of all the other signs and become a pizzaloger.

Sun in Pisces: Your purpose is to be the pizza. All topics on your slice are to merge into a singularity, unified with the totality of creation. In this unity, all beings will be fed pizza by your very breathing.

Sun in Aries: Your purpose is simple: Eat, but don't grab.

Sun in Taurus: Pleasantly explore the all the tactile qualities of the pizza. Every once and a while take small bites... your eyes will roll to their sockets in sensual ecstacy.

Sun in Gemini: Your purpose is to learn as much as you can about all the toppings. It is therefore necessary for you to sample everyone else's slice. You may have some trouble with Scorpio. Have as much fun as possible in the process and catalouge all of the observed data into the international pizza library database (ipld).

Sun in Cancer: Thank you so much for making all that pizza. I love your cooking!

Staye light, be light, radiate light!
In love and grace,
Ari Moshe

Dhyana

"Sun in Sagittarius: Directions: Understand the pizza through direct inner experience. Honor your natural insight and point all seekers back to the Pizza. Don't chew with your mouth full!

Yup ... i HEAR ya!  ;D

...great to read this here, Ari.

Always <3,

D

Rad

 Hi Ari,

Thanks for bringing such mirth to our mb. It was such great fun to read this.

God Bless, Rad

Kristin

Hiya Ari,

You had me Laughing Out Loud first thing in the morning. What a way to start the day....thanks!

They were all great but my favs were some of these tag lines..

VIRGO - Lean left, chew 34 times per bite.
SAG - Don't chew with your mouth full
ARIES - Your purpose is simple: Eat, but don't grab.
GEMINI - Your purpose is to learn as much as you can about all the toppings. It is therefore necessary for you to sample everyone else's slice. You may have some trouble with Scorpio. (on the floor laughing with that one)

smiles,
kristin


jasonholley

Hi Ari, delightful!  I especially appreciated the sheer length of the Libra one as all the possibilites are considered, and also the appearance in it of that dreaded word here in my Libra-heavy household, "however"!  ;D

Love,
God bless,
Jason

Mercury_Child

These are hilarious!  :D

I relate to Virgo & Gemini one.

Best,
Virgo Sun, Gemini Rising