Dear Rad & group,
Thanks for your guidance and for this opportunity to grow.
With Venus being the ruler of Darwin’s South Node in Taurus in the 5th, this gives Venus extra emphasis, what he values and what holds meaning is being picked up where he left off, this trend carried forward into the most recent life. In order for the magnitude of what was on Darwin’s evolutionary plate and his inner sense of destiny to bring his scientific findings to the world his sense of meaning would require for him to be totally wrapped up in his vision, where at times, nothing else mattered in the world other than what was on his mind and where he was on his inner road map, Venus, ruler of his South Node in the 5th is in Aries in the 3rd house in a new phase to Jupiter in Pisces. His sense of meaning would be directly linked to the pioneering of his discoveries that he had unearthed accumulated, compiled and synthesized while traveling the world. He would have valued immensely the need for total freedom to explore without limits boundaries or borders and would know it would require traveling cross continentally in particular by boat to reach destinations where his research could be completed. His Jupiter in Pisces in the 3rd is balsalmic to Mercury and making a new phase conjunction to Pluto and to Venus also reflects his past life as William Dampier who was the first Englishman to circumnavigate the world three times. Both Darwin and Dampier share a Sag rising, the ruler Jupiter balsalmic Mercury in Pisces and making new phase to Darwin’s Venus in Aries in the 3rd, suggesting Darwin would continue his relationship with the sea and his travels in order to continue his ground breaking work.
With the sense of meaning leading to and thus contributing to what one believes, a Venus in Aries in Darwin’s case especially when making a new phase to Jupiter, the chart ruler, Darwin would have had this belief that there was always more to learn, there was always something more to know and to uncover and his motivation would be high. He would have had an inner confidence on the heels of his last success as an explorer in his recent life as Dampier and a drive to keep on going until the last stone was overturned. This fever for travel would have created a real restlessness inside of him when he was not on his way somewhere new. He would hunger to explore the unexplored, where no other man had ever walked and within this it would require an independent, self reliant disposition. With a South Node in the 5th and the ruler being Venus in Aries in the 3rd, his children contributed immensely to his sense of meaning but with his motivations being so strong for his explorations it would be a great challenge to strike a reasonable balance between all that was incessantly on his mind and being present as a parent. It can reflect always having his mind on something even while spending time with others, his children included.
With Pluto in Pisces in a new phase to Venus in Aries, this further re-states Darwin’s ultimate need for freedom in his life in every way, especially a life that allows for boundless, timeless inner space to travel in his mind. He will come to understand who he is, how he is put together and his relationship to the universe from not only his outer worldly travels and all the new information he has collected but within the inner expeditions that would take flight. Venus in Aries reflects his need to be a pioneer of his own work and to earn and provide in his own independent way, to be his own boss, with no one but himself calling the shots. He would be fortunate enough to come through a family with the financial means to fund his interests, his adventures and to get his work off the ground reflected in his South Node in Taurus in the 5th house, ruler Venus in Aries trining Saturn and Neptune. His sense of meaning and sense of self importance would come from the written work that was a result of all of his travels. Perhaps even more important would be his need to continue to challenge not only the status quo and the world at large but to challenge his own status quo intellectually as well as his beliefs. There was an ongoing pressure to not only challenge the status quo, Venus in Aries, but to push his own intellectual limits, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th so a new creative process could be born. You can see this re-stated with the South Node of Uranus, the higher octave of Mercury, conjunct his South Node of Mars in the 1st in Sagittarius, ruler Jupiter making a new phase conjunction to Pluto as well as a new phase to Venus in Aries and the North Node of Venus in Aries.
With Venus in Aries, the ruler of his South Node in the 5th in Taurus, there would have been a feeling of being self-important and special, a narcissism that pervaded his aura - his needs would take precedence over the needs of others. This stems from him feeling that his work or focus is more important than whatever is going on around him. Because of this special sense of destiny, it would require a fundamental independence in order to actualize whatever he set out do to. Because of this self focus and at times total disregard for others in the process, it would cause him to attract partners that give him total freedom and do not question his choices. Darwin’s commitment was first to himself and because of this he would would never be able to experience a true co-equal partnership, it would be heavily if not totally weighted on his needs and his pursuits in this lifetime, Venus in Aries. It would require a partner who was totally on board his mission, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th squaring the Moon in Capricorn. With Venus in Aries, his passion and excitement surrounding his life’s work would keep life elevated and stimulating for his partner and he would rope her in to his plan making her feel as if she were equally a part of things, but he would also periodically totally withdraw into the confines of his mind and isolate himself there, South Node in Taurus, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd. This tendency would not be evolving any time soon as his natal Venus in Aries is conjunct his North Node in Aries yet there would be a pressure to return to the family, to work to strike a better balance and it would continually be brought to his attention, via the needs of his children or in the extreme case of the loss of his daughter. This event would have provided the necessary shock to find a way to better balance his priorities with work and family, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th square Moon in Capricorn.
Relationship with self
With Capricorn on the second house cusp, Darwin would have had a deep reflective consciousness and would have been withdrawn, quiet and serious. He would not have allowed himself the luxury of inner joy because of the unresolved grief he carried from other times and his feeling of responsibility linked with the trauma that ensued and because of this would have been in perpetual state of emotional suffering and mourning. With Moon in Capricorn in the second, the natural ruler of his 8th house, the house of the Soul, he had learned to deeply compress his emotions and protect his feelings as a child. This need to control his emotions was because of the lack of support and nurturing and became a survival instinct. Because there was no real actual nurturing as a child by the parents, this would produce a well spring of insecurity so his needs would be buried deep within his subconscious.
Darwin was in a constant state of inner stress, not just from PTSD but from the pressure he put on himself, which would not allow himself to fully be present, whether he was traveling or with family. While he was away he would worry himself sick about family and wonder if they were all safe and ok without him. He would feel responsible for their pain of his being away which would trigger the past when he was not there when they needed him. When he was home, he would be wishing he was off traveling on one of his international adventures and stress about the time lost on his research. As a result he could never really be present anywhere. With Venus in Aries in the 3rd, full phase to Mars in Libra in the 12th, he always wanted to be somewhere else- the grass would always looks greener on the other side of the fence. This would also create a great deal of guilt and self judgement for not being fully present for his children as the ruler of his South Node in the 5th in Taurus is Venus in Aries in the 3rd, Mars in Libra in the 10th, is squaring his Cap Moon and South Nodes of Pluto, Saturn and Venus in his 2nd. The only occasion when Darwin could establish/access that feeling of being totally present was when he was observing something for then he could let his mind go and access the higher octave of Mercury, Uranus. His Pluto/Mercury are making a balsamic conjunction in the 3rd and trining Uranus and the North Node in Scorpio in the 11th. Also, the ruler of his South Node of Uranus in Sag is Jupiter in the 12th in Sag conjunct Neptune, trine Venus in Aries in the 3rd. There are several repeating themes linked with the emotional paradox in his Soul, wanting his freedom and also wanting/needing to be in a relationship. Within this dynamic is about his Soul needing to learn to better balance his priorities, of all the things he was responsible for setting in motion, not just to tend to them when he wanted to. He would experience this tug a war of emotional extremes throughout his life, all of which inevitably compounded the pre-existing guilt and self punishing tendencies that have trailed him through time.
Some of the repeating themes of are seen here:
Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Venus
Mars, ruler of his Venus, squaring Moon in Cap and South Nodes of Pluto, Saturn and Venus.
Venus in Aries conjunct North Node of Venus in ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th.
Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra opposing North Node of Mars in Aries
Venus in Aries, ruler North Node of Mars in Aries squaring Moon in Cap.
Darwin would have had the tendency to be overly hard on himself and to self judge to an extreme, with Capricorn on the second house cusp, the Moon in Cap also in the 2nd squaring Mars in Libra, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd. Darwin would have felt himself to be un-loveable as a result of the residual emotional grief stored in his cells due to his failed responsibility that led to the trauma he caused family, in particular children in another life, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th squaring Moon in Capricorn. He also would have felt guilt for the sexual content that streamed through his mind and Soul because it would not have been ‘acceptable and proper’ in the eyes of most so he would have swung from these extremes of being totally free innocent in his private inner tours where he could continually learn about himself and his desires and feeling a true unlimited power in those experiences to the pendulum swinging hard in the other direction, Pluto in Pisces in a new phase to Venus in Aries in the 3rd, ruler, Mars in Libra in the 10th squaring a Capricorn Moon in the 2nd conjunct his South Node of Saturn. So it would be weightlessness upon release followed by a tidal wave of guilt, followed by the Capricorn conditioned question, “What does this mean about me?" The intention would be for him to discover and to learn that his mind could be a way of liberating him sexually as Mars, the ruler of his Venus in Aries is trining his Sun in Aquarius in the 2nd house, ruler Uranus in Scorpio conjunct the North Node in the 11th. Also Aquarius in on the 3rd house cusp where Venus in Aries resides. With Venus in Aries in the 3rd he will relate to himself inwardly through the nature of what he is thinking in any given moment.
I imagine he would instinctually have had a great deal of confidence in what his mind could produce, Venus in Aries in the 3rd, understanding also that he was ultimately a conduit for an eternal well of knowledge. This understanding would have induced a trust in the constant flow of content that would spill from on high and into the ethers of his consciousness. But no sooner was he feeling this confident stream would the feeling of self doubt cancel out the rush of this convincing creative ingenuity. With Lucifer in Virgo in his 10th house forming an inconjunct to Venus in Aries in the 3rd, considering evil lodges itself where we are most vulnerable, these feelings of inadequacy would occur through his work, as well as the ideas floating in his mind as Lucifer also makes an opposition to Mercury in Pisces. This would result in his thinking that his ideas were not well founded or even crazy, especially if they were coming out of him as if he were unworthy for the role. He would struggle with this feeling of 'not being enough’ in his work and at home because of Lucifer having a way of creating a self undermining effect, this feeling would also be a result of not being able to bring his whole self to the moment, so restless by nature and a part of him always wanting to be elsewhere.
Evolutionarily speaking it is the people, I would consider Darwin to be one of them, that ‘have it’ that ‘don’t know they have it’ or doubt they have it and that ultimately do not want the spot light and the glory, these are the Souls that are granted with the capacity and consciousness by God to be messengers of truth for the 'natural’ world. As Darwin’s relationship with God evolved so would his relationship with himself as he would have progressively learned to let himself off the hook, however not totally, but he would have learned that forgiveness would be the only way back to healing and ultimately back to God. His Soul’s objective in this life would have been to form a brand new relationship with himself Venus in a new phase to Pluto in Pisces, to create new grooves in the record of his Soul and new grooves in the record of his mind. The healing of the natural God must come first, for when his understanding of a natural God was recovered, removing the patriarchal judging God from the equation, there there would be hope for his own healing to happen. With a Moon in Cap in the 2nd conjunct the South Nodes of Pluto, Saturn and Venus also Capricorn on the 2nd house cusp, ruler Saturn in Sag conjunct Pluto in the 12th, there is a focus on releasing his Soul from the hold of the guilt collected that is linked with religious conditioning, other wise known as learned guilt. The natural guilt however will remain as this will be in place to always be reminded of a path he does not want to return to, so certain choices leading to trauma for himself and others are not made again. These are symbols of the need for SELF FORGIVENESS and ultimately SELF ACCEPTANCE which must occur in order for his Soul to evolve as Neptune, higher octave of Venus, is balsamic to Saturn in Sagittarius in the 12th, and they are squaring Pluto in Pisces, the sign that Neptune, the planet of healing, naturally rules.
With Venus in Aries, and the ruler Mars in Libra, the emotional paradox is at an extreme in terms of his need for relationship but also this intense need for freedom, with Pluto forming a new phase to that Venus. The need for a relationship would have outweighed his need for freedom however for a few reasons. He was afraid of being alone, and of dying alone, being left to seep in his own grief and pain of the past. He also knew that the only way through would be to partner with someone he could lean on and depend on for emotional support, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th squaring Moon in Cap, South Nodes of Pluto Saturn and Venus in the 2nd. He and his wife had also traveled through time together, Mercury ruler of the 7th house cusp balsalmic to Pluto in the 3rd in Pisces, squaring the ruler Neptune and Saturn in Sag in the 12th. They suffered traumas of not only losing one another but also their children so it was essential to culminate this theme so they both could heal and evolve. In addition to the evolutionary need to recover the Souls of children they had lost together, Darwin expressed one of the reasons for having children and creating a family was so they could take care of him when he was old. But beyond the basic care that is required upon aging was his need for constant validation and love, South Node in Taurus in the 5th, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd trine Saturn and Neptune in the 12th which would have a way as serving as balm for the lack of nurturing he experienced when he was young but also for the emotional wounds endured because of his own mistakes as a result of restless distraction and being pulled away by his work in other times.
With the South Node in the 5th and the ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd, Darwin would need a partner who would make him the center of her universe, yet because of his Venus is in Aries he would attract someone as strong willed as he was, which he needed, in order to be consistently challenged to grow and to keep things fresh and new. He would have required that with a loaded 3rd house as he could easily become bored and lose interest. It would have been the spirit of his partners independent mind that kept him engaged and the fire of attraction burning.
The Venus in Aries signature in Darwin’s chart would reflect a kind of compromise with respect to partnership and love. The emotional paradox also connects to Souls attracting people who meet some of their needs but not all so it guarantees them an exit point. Darwin would not desire to leave this partnership, he was too evolutionarily invested and dependent on their like minded bond, also with Moon in Capricorn he valued commitment but he would create his own temporary exit point by leaving the family in order to travel and pursue his own desires that were independent of them. He would however share these adventures upon return and the pendulum would swing back in the other direction. He would need his partner to be ALL IN. With Mercury on the 7th house cusp and the ruler balsalmic to Pluto in the third and balsalmic to Venus in Aries as well, he would need to share everything about his travels. His need to talk was linked with his own need for feedback and validation, South Node in the 5th, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd. Because of his own feelings of inadequacy, Lucifer in Virgo in the 10th opposing the Pisces stellium, squaring the ruler Neptune and Saturn in the 12th, he would not trust his own intuition because of his permeating self doubt, and needed the validation of his partner. It would be more important to marry someone, in this case his blood cousin, who knew him as well as anybody and shared like minded interests, Mercury is the ruler of the 7th house cusp and sits in the 3rd house basalmic to Pluto and Venus. This Mercury also trines Uranus in Scorpio on the North node in the 11th, extended family. He chose to marry his cousin because of the family values they were raised with which was an independence of thinking, a family who encouraged free thought and to always be questioning what it is you think you already know. With Venus in Aries in the 3rd, he valued independent thinking and valued this quality in a partner, an independent thinker herself. Gemini is on the 7th house cusp and the ruler Mercury is in Pisces in the 3rd balsalmic to Pluto. Venus is in a new phase to Pluto in Pisces suggesting he would need a partner who could not only hold a mirror up to him but someone who was strong enough and confident enough to challenge his thoughts keeping him in a constant state growth. His partner was the first one to lay eyes on his manuscript and so he needed this absolute trust in her intellectual capacity and in her OBJECTIVE feedback.
His freedom and his need to travel at will and on a whim at times was necessary to advance his research would have been his first love and his front priority and his partner would have to accept this and understand. There was a safety in seeking love in the arms of family but there was also a long history between them with the ruler of his 7th house being Mercury and this is making a balsamic conjunction to Pluto in the 3rd, Mercury also being balsalmic to his Venus in Aries. Darwin would also keep a deep part of himself isolated from his partner even when they were together as it would create a space of inner freedom for him to always return to when necessary. He would need a strong partner to match his inherent passion for life and discovery, one that could hold her own and be as strong as he needed her to be especially when the chips were down. He did give his wife the final transcript of “On the Origin of the species” shouldering her with the ultimate responsibility of whether or not it was mailed and delivered and landing into the right hands. This act was his surrender of the burden he carried and also his need to share the weight of responsibility with her, for them to be partner together in this commitment to advancing the mainstream thought and understanding of the natural world.. His wife’s follow-through also reflected her true conviction in his message and life’s work, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th, squaring the Moon in Capricorn in the 2nd. His partner would need to be in place to support him, to give him children and to take over when he had nothing left. Beyond a marriage, it was also business partnership and bonded by a blood line that kept them rooted in the same values. He would have needed to feel a timeless trust in his partner, Pluto balsalmic to mercury, ruler of the 7th house, especially because of the magnitude of what was destined to be put on the planet. Venus in Aries Souls naturally attract partners who are as self focused as themselves, but considering the times and the woman’s role in the marriage and the home there was undoubtedly a natural submission by his wife because there were children to consider and her front line responsibility would be them. However his partner would have gained a certain sense of power and status simply by association, his partner would have naturally accumulated a sense of importance via her marriage to him and the role she played in this ground breaking work. No doubt the partner he would attract would have had some of her own controlling tendencies as he would have naturally been drawn to her strength and self reliance, as well as her ability to be run the household on her own while he was away, Venus in Aries in the 3rd, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10 square Moon in Capricorn in the 2nd. He needed a partner that could take charge before he even thought to ask for the need for her to do so. This would have the effect of freeing him up knowing things were all under control when he slipped away in his work distractions.
Ultimately and most important of all, he would need a partner who would love him unconditionally, “Mercury in Pisces, ruler of his 7th balsamic to Pluto in Pisces, and Venus in Aries.“For better and for worse, until death do we part -Moon in Cap in the second, ruler Saturn in the 12th trining Venus in Aries, also needing a partner who was as committed as he was. The hopeless romantic is also seen with his South Node in the 5th ruler Venus in Aries, trine Neptune in Sag in the 12th, the ruler of his Pluto in Pisces in the 3rd.
I recently heard a country song that reminded me of the kind of love he needed.
She loves me like Jesus does
All the crazy in my dreams,
Both my broken wings,
Every single piece of everything I am,
Yeah, she knows the man I ain't,
She forgives me when I can't,
And the devil man, he don't stand a chance,
Cause she loves me like Jesus does.
Mercury, ruler of the the 7th house cusp, is in Pisces and making a balsamic conjunction to Pluto in the 3rd and opposes Lucifer. Mercury in Pisces is also balsalmic to Venus in Aries.
Darwin would have bouts where his passionate Venus in Aries would display with validating love and energy. Darwin would have gotten bored easily and would have needed to keep the connection and his life with his wife stimulated and moving forward in some way, most of which would have occurred through the advancement of his work, and perhaps she being at his side as an at home editor. I can see the Venus in Aries passion being shared through the evolution of the discoveries and the documented findings with his loaded 3rd house, including Mercury, the ruler of his 7th house.
A note on LILITH
In man’s chart Original Lilith connects to a man’s ideal image of a woman. With Original Lilith in the 5th in Taurus conjunct his South Node, this this would reflect his need for a partner who has come through his recent past, someone that he grew up with, also a partner who has traveled through time and shared his same experience with culture and family reflected in the South Node in Taurus, ruler Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th. He would revere a woman who is self reliant, steady, strong and patient. He would need a partner who thinks the world of him and one who makes him her everything but who still maintains her own individuals passions and creative pursuits and one who could challenge him at every turn, ruler of the Lilith in Taurus is Venus in Aries in the 3rd. This also re-states his 5th house need for a partner who would make him the center of her universe and who would be fertile and produce as many children as possible. She would also need to share his passion for the environment and earth forms as well for his work on evolution. Lilith in Taurus in the 5th is sextiling his Pluto in the 3rd balasmic to Mercury, he would need a partner who would be able to tune into what he was thinking and feeling without even needing to ask, seamlessly sensitive to his inner space and one who was able to harmonize with him intellectually and validate him whenever was needed. His ideal would be a woman who could also validate him emotionally simply through her tender encouraging touch, Taurus, and to know what he needed and when, never hesitating to take the lead when necessary. With Lilith in Taurus, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd, Lilith also opposing Uranus in Scorpio, this would represent his ideal being a partner who could care less about what other people thought of her, a true individual and an independent woman , free at her core, who cares most about expressing her most natural honest self, Lilith in Taurus, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd trining Saturn and Neptune in Sagittarius. In essence as all asteroids signatures prove to provide, is further support what we are already seeing in the chart.
With Resolution Lilith in Gemini in the 7th trining Chiron in the 2nd and the MC, this family connection and love found through a connection as cousins, ruler Mercury in the 3rd trining Uranus in Scorpio in the 11th, would prove to heal many of the broken roads of the past. It is also important to note here that often time Souls will choose to be born into the same family or extended family in order to guarantee proximity, in this case also to guarantee not only a like minded upbringing that allowed for free thinking, but one that allowed them to bring everything full circle and heal the past.
Sexually speaking Darwin would have had a strong instinctual sexual magnetism and this would have emanated from the root of being, Pluto in Pisces in a new phase to Venus in Aries. With the ruler Mars being in Libra in the 10th and squaring a Moon in Cap, this energy would have been used in order to secure the attention of his partner, however their intimacy would have carried a more traditional tone and my sense is there would be periods of relative frequency, perhaps only with the intention to conceive, mixed with long dry spells when Darwin’s mind would take precedence bombarding all other tendencies, even the sexual instinct to procreate and merge. This withdrawal of sexual energy would also be a result of controlling the relationship so there would not be a threat of enmeshment so his first priority, his need for freedom would be maintained. Within this need for freedom also contains a need for sexual freedom which could be safely tended to in the endless spaces in his mind where the act of watching would water the repressed sexual earth in his Soul. He would value sexual openness because of his innocent curiosity in the sense of mentally entertaining a myriad pf possibilities but there would never be any physical follow through. With Capricorn on the 2nd house cusp, he would be naturally monogamous and also value the power of commitment. By nature a second house Capricorn is naturally a deep sexual archetype. If he chose to explore bringing down his Capricorn barriers and experiencing any sort of intimacy beyond having sex simply for procreation, with Capricorn on the 2nd house cusp and a Moon in Capricorn, he would need some time warming up sexually by hugging and touching to slowly soften all of what he was holding up and back but when ample time was allowed, an entire new universe would open up and healing could happen with the ruler of the 2nd house cusp, Saturn, being in Sag and balsalmic to Neptune in the 12th. Once he had de-thawed his physical body, he would need the sexual act whether alone, which would have occurred far more often, or with his partner, to be long and sustained. The longer the sexual act is sustained the deeper the Capricorn archetype can go because with time the emotions are ignited and layer by layer the holding is peeled away. He would desire sexual intensity because the degree of intensity would directly correspond to the unlocking of his feelings, needs and emotions. However with Venus in Aries in the 3rd, this reflects 'quicker' sex so to speak and would interrupt his deepest need for the sustained experience. With a history of repression and conditioning, his Moon in Capricorn in the 2nd conjunct the South nodes of Pluto, Saturn and Venus, sex would have occurred with the lights out, under the covers and possibly while being clothed only exposing what was necessary. Following sexual intimacy if he allowed himself to emotionally let go on any level, he would also need to be held like a child in the fetal position with his Moon in Capricorn in the 2nd as well as the polarity being Cancer in his 8th in order for his Soul to feel nurtured and safe following allowing greater expression of vulnerability. With Moon in Capricorn in the 2nd and the Moon naturally ruling the 8th house, in order for evolution to proceed on this level the polarity must be embraced to allow the inner wounded child to be healed.
Venus in Aries in a new phase to Pluto in Pisces, also Venus being the ruler of his South Node in the 5th, Darwin would be like a child innocent in his sexual explorations, similar to exploring virgin territory, most of which would occur in his mind as his need for diversity was so strong and intense, Venus in Aries in a new phase for Pluto in the 3rd trining Uranus in Scorpio, this bold, expressive spontaneity was more safely satisfied in this way. His mind would entertain him, like a defacto act of voyeurism with an imagination that would stimulate his senses and induce sexual spontaneity leading to self pleasure and masturbation.These inner travels would teach him what images ignited what feelings and senses and who he was as a sexual being. However this mental orientation to sex would create a detachment which would lead to feeling sexually frustrated because of always observing versus actively engaging. It would be impossible to become emotionally engaged during sex because he was always 'in his head' and detached from the physical experience.
Even yet, he may have been more reserved however than where his mind was egging him on to travel as his Venus in Aries, is ruled by a 10th house Mars in Libra which squared his Moon in Capricorn. He may have felt guilty for some of the desires that natural lit him up due to his religious conditioning, for whatever is repressed becomes distorted, and he would have repressed countless desires and natural ways of sexual expression, this occurring for lifetimes. It would be as if someone opened the feeling physical flood gates following electing to spend certain lives sexually locked up in monastic environments as his Soul’s way of repenting, he would have also denied himself the gift of a sexual release in other times as a way of self punishment and persecution for his distractions that led to family tragedy as was discussed in prior posts. This is re-stated with the Moon in Cap in the 2nd conjunct the South Nodes of Saturn, Pluto, and Venus and the Moon squaring Mars in Libra in the 10th, the ruler of his Venus in Aries. So the build up in him sexually would have been immense similar to a concrete dam holding back the sea. In his life as Darwin, he would have had to regularly masturbate in order to stay emotionally balanced and stable because of all the emotional repression that would have created added pressure, Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th trines his 2nd house Sun in Aquarius. This would have provided a channel for energetic relief and release. The guilt would always follow however, no self pleasuring ever came free Venus in Aries in the 3rd, ruler Venus is Mars in Libra in the 10th squaring his Moon in Capricorn, ruler Saturn and Jupiter in Sag squaring Pluto. His essential sexual needs/fantasies would have also been kept a secret from his partner because the residual conditioning resulted in harsh self judgement for these sexual desires, not only "what does this mean about me" but also “what would she think of me”? and so he created a safe container to store these erotic longings and would return to the private inner movie screen. He may have inwardly explored the wildly unusual with Aquarius on his 3rd house cusp, the ruler Uranus in Scorpio in the 11th conjunct the North Node and trine his Pluto in Pisces in the 3rd, also the Sun in Aquarius in the 2nd trining his 10th house Mars in Libra, ruler Venus in Aries in the 3rd, and his Soul demanded full freedom to watch and witness everything and anything that had been building and had been denied, to rebel against his own mind and the sexual prison it created in the past, ruler of his Venus in Aries is Mars in Libra in the 10th trining a 2nd house Sun in Aquarius. This would have also been his way of getting in touch with the diversity of his own natural instincts and desires by VIEWING and exploring it all in his own sweet time, Capricorn on the 2nd house cusp, and then choosing which images he would want to return to and which scenes had the deepest hold on him. His way of somewhat backing himself out of the guilt would have been an “its ok to look but not touch scenario”.
Sexually speaking with respect to his partner, intimacy with extended family is seen with the ruler of his South Node in Taurus being Venus in Aries in the 3rd, Balsalmic to Mercury, the ruler of his 7th cusp. Also Venus in Aries in the 3rd, Aquarius sits on the 3rd house cusp, ruler of his Venus is Mars in Libra in the 10th sextiles his South Node of Mars in Sag and squares Moon in Cap, going against the sexual norm. With Aquarius on his 3rd house cusp Darwin would be liberating himself and rebelling against common values and relationship forms. For Darwin he followed what felt like for him was the natural fit. Mercury, ruler of his 7th cusp is also trining Uranus in Scorpio in the 11th conjunct his North Node in Scorpio in the 11th. Even though he may have followed his instinct with his cousin as his chosen partner he still would have gotten caught up in what other people thought and felt the projections of the patriarchal mentality that their way was the “right or proper way” to relate. The guilt as result of how his own residual conditioning and wanting to ‘appear’ normal and be accepted with the ruler of his Venus in Aries being Mars in Libra in the 10th, would have not allowed him to be totally free sexually with her or fully access his South Node of Mars in Sag but that day in another lifetime is coming as his North Node of Mars is in Aries and will trine his South Node of Mars in Sagittarius in the first, ruler of his Venus in Aries and North Node of Venus in Aries.
With Venus in Aries there is an instinctual need of feeling special and since Venus is the ruler of his South Node, there is this feeling they everything should revolve around him and his needs.This Venus in Aries, especially with it being the ruler of a South Node in Taurus in the 5th would have generated maximum self indulgence in his own personal needs. This is re-stated further with the ruler of his Venus in Aries being Mars in Libra in terms of having instinctual expectations, Libra and with the square to his Moon in Capricorn, when they are not met, anger would be the result. Also whenever his freedom was threatened in any way, anger would also follow. With Venus in Aries being the ruler of the South Node in the 5th can lead to a self indulging to the point of eclipsing the partners needs and keeping his own needs in full focus and plain view. He would expect that the partner’s needs take the backseat to his own. He would expect to be in ‘control of the clock’ in charge of how he chose to use his time and when, Venus in Aries is balsalmic to Mercury, the ruler of his 7th house cusp. The ruler of his Venus in Aries, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th squaring the moon in Cap, ruler Saturn trining Venus in Aries.. With such an extremity of energy with respect to his need for independence and his need to be in relationships, his Soul is learning how to strike a better balance and to not just form relationships based on how others can serve him but for him to give equally to those that he forms connections to.
In essence, the evolutionary intention with respect to Darwin’s relationship with himself and though extension with God, which will in turn impact and improve his relationship with others starts with unlocking his loaded 2nd house with a Moon in Cap conjunct the South Nodes of Pluto, Saturn and Venus, squaring Mars in Libra in the 10th which opposes his Venus in Aries. It starts within, with his inner relationship to himself and will require him to embrace the polarity in Cancer in the 8th house. He would need to reflect deeply on the nature of his psychological imprinting created by his parental environment and the society he was born into that has impacted upon him and how this has shaped and defined his self image and sense of self. So the intention is to create a new self image that is free of the shackles and chains, one that will totally alter his inner relationship with himself thus changing his inner vibratory nature and all that he attracts moving forward. He will learn how to forgive himself, ruler of his second being Saturn in Sag conjunct Neptune, the higher octave of Venus, in the 12th. Via the polarity of Capricorn, Cancer in the 8th he will learn to relate to himself with softer more forgiving strokes, to feel deep within himself the needs and emotions that have been arrested as a result of his conditioning and fears of rejection and judgment. He will need to go back, to heal the inner child, in order to move forward again. Once he learns how to self nurture and emotionally self provide which includes tuning into the natural God for sustainment and support, 12th house, Neptune and the higher octave of Venus, his sense of entitlement and expectations of others will fall away. He will in time find a way to find balance in relationship, participating because he wants to not because he needs to or because of what others can do for him, Venus in Aries in the 3rd, ruler Mars in Libra in the 10th. The cardinal Axis and planets in cardinal signs is energetically peaking which includes his North Node of Venus also being in Aries as well as the ruler North Node of Mars being in Aries suggesting it will take an extreme to counteract the extremity of the imbalance. Perhaps one example of this would be reflected in the possibility of a gender switch that would allow for him to integrate more deeply his feminine emotional side. Not only is the polarity of his Moon in Capricorn in Cancer in the 8th, it is conjunct the North Nodes of Pluto and Saturn in Cancer. Darwin's North Node of Mars, the ruler of his natal Venus in Aries is also in Aries in the 4th house, representing a new gender cycle. Whether he reincarnates as a male or a female, for personal evolution to take place, he will need to soften and become vulnerable in every way, in order to establish necessary balance and to experience inner strength once again - he will discover that ultimate strength as well as healing lies in the vulnerability!
peace & gratitude,