Hi Rad, and group,
Here's my report on the lucifer transit through Aquarius up to date.
Lucifer and its north node in Aquarius have been transiting through my 7th natal House. I also have natal Uranus in Libra, so this implies an intention to ‘break free from the past’ operating through relationships. Also the intention of learning new, deeper, ways to listen, is emphasized. The intention to evolve beyond past relationships patterns is connected to learning new ways to give, and to receive. Thus, at some point I had the impulse to offer free EA readings for people who needed, which I did through my blog, and through facebook. This served to do a series of readings for some people who I feel really benefitted from this. Same time, some other people came asking for the reading basically because it was ‘for free’, including some who had the means to pay for it, and also some people who were not open enough, or honest enough, to benefit from this type of work with me. But in the end it served as a vehicle to give.
Also, I have been having new insights of objective nature about past relationships, allowing to re-assess desires and dynamics that occurred within these relationships. Uranus is the ruler of my 8th House, and is conjunct Pluto, so this of course includes bottom-line emotional psychological dynamics of my Soul.
A fundamental intention of my Soul is to learn to listen deeper, in order to progressively come to hear and understand the language of my Soul (Pluto and South Node 2nd House, Pluto polarity point and North Node in the 8th House). With Uranus being in the natal 3rd House, conjunct Sun, I’ve come to see clearly with this Lucifer in Aquarius transit how whenever my head thinks its got it right, in reality I have it wrong. The intention of course is to become deeper, in order not to depend on linear thoughts. Thoughts apparently clear and coherent will always appear in my consciousness pointing in the wrong way. Sometimes the thoughts will not be wrong themselves, however, because of lacking the necessary depth of Soul awareness, the desires and dynamics conditioning whatever path will not be sufficiently integrated, which will always create, at least, confusion about the bottom-line motivations. Other times the thought forms will simply mask the inner dynamics or desires, or the emotional states.
At some point the Lucifer transit though my 7th House manifested an apparent paradox in my orientation to relationships, between wanting not to be in relationships because of my own fears of rejection based on emotional vulnerability and feelings of impurity, or wanting to be in relationships in order to bypass my own unresolved emotional states. Thus, along many years I have wanted to be alone while being with other people, and wanting to be with other people when I am alone. Thus, the main issue being, rather than to be or not to be in relationships, the depth of the relationships with myself or other people, and within this, the fear of the unknown manifesting in the emotional states experienced when being alone, and when relating to others. This intention includes how to listen deeper, in order to understand the language of the Soul within me or others (Uranus 3rd House ruling the 8th House, and conjunct Pluto, also Mercury conjunct Pluto), beyond the surface where a tremendous level of projections occurs.
The desire to listen deeper in order to penetrate Soul structure, the frustration of all the stupid repeating traps I always get caught in, then lead me to consider the 8th House desire to die, symbolizing metamorphosis. At one point during this transit I had a dream in which it was the end of my life, right on the process of dying, struggling to let go egocentric identification, a ‘struggle to surrender’. In the dream a voice deep within was telling me 'you are not your body', while my consciousness tried to identify with the lights within. The desire to die, versus ‘walking dead’, then linked with the apparent paradox between relating or not relating to others. Because my natal Escorpio Neptune which rules my North Node in the 8th House, is square the North Node within the Disseminating phase, an absolute dissatisfaction exists in my Soul about the conditioned, time-space reality, while only having glimpses of whatever is supposed to come next. My Soul ‘cannot know’ what this is about, but all the known parameters are experienced as irrelevant and ultimately meaningless. I can’t get no true satisfaction in any of the normal ways, except by the ‘glimpses’ of the unconditioned which my Soul is learning to perceive through the emotional experience, within myself or through other people. This evolutionary situation is resultant of the degree of delusory identification in the past, and the degree of attachment to desires which have already proved their meaninglessness. Thus, a need to die to the old, before the new can manifest. I could experience some of this through offering the free EA readings, because I did get a lot of readings to do for a couple of weeks, and at some point I also felt the dissatisfaction of ‘this is just work’. The only difference was in those readings where I felt to be cooperating with Spirit to give someone what they needed in order to heal or resolve, where true need and desire to heal or resolve was the reason for asking for the reading, and in which this was revealed in the emotional interaction with the client.
The desire to die to the old translates in the need to accept emptiness, to accept ‘not having’, and to accept the desire for something beyond the known. This then translates to the questions ‘why to live?’, ‘what is meant to sustain or give meaning to my life, if all the known proves unsatisfying, despite the efforts to still grasp some satisfaction or meaning from the pre-existing types of experience?’ The answer to these questions is mysterious. It is just ‘whispered’. It relates to the reality of love, and gratitude, that exist within my Soul, and in others, which IS MORE than I identify with normally, and which my Soul is learning to ‘hear’. This is the only reason to live, and in itself is beyond or independent of the issue of relating or not relating with others.
An other specific manifestation of the Lucifer transit through my 7th House, with Lucifer North Node in Aquarius also in my 7th House forming a square to my natal Venus in Scorpio in the 4th House, occurred through a dream in which the Soul of JWG was teaching about relationships. In this dream his Soul, as an agent of God, warned me that a woman would come to me for a reading or EA teaching, and that this woman would have a contract with evil. JWG’s Soul instructed me not to ever enter into a personal relationship with this woman, and not to teach this woman about EA principles because she would be able to use this knowledge for evil purposes. He also told me that this woman would appear as totally innocent, natural, and naïve, and that her Soul had created this self image and persona in order to be able to have sex with whomever she wanted, without owning or accepting the nature or her desires and dynamics.
God Bless, Gonzalo