Adding to my previous posts:
Uranus in Virgo in the 4th
I would say of Uranus (higher octave, fixed, air, yang) in Virgo (lower octave, mutable, earth, yin) that with the strong mercurial resonance—thinking, communicating, processing internal & external stimuli and emphasis of an inward context, in the 4th (cardinal, water, yin) that this combination would make for a highly self-critical, sensitive, and generally insecure individual. Specifically, on the mental and emotional levels, there could be an innate tendency toward avoidance, withdrawal, and disassociation. This could easily lead to substance abuse of depressants or hallucinogens as a way to self-medicate. Mental illness such as Borderline personality disorder reflects an unstable self-image, a sense of emptiness and inferiority, and a tendency to vacate. Mood disturbances such as ‘splitting’ (black and white thinking) peak in idealization and objectification, and pitch into devaluation and dismissal. In extreme cases Schizophrenia where there are major imbalances of dopamine levels, also contributing to anxiety and depression. Delusions, disordered thoughts and speech, tactile, auditory, visual, olfactory, and gustory hallucinations, typically regarded as manifestations of psychosis. Impairment of the hippocampus, frontal, and temporal lobes during fetal development is a possible cause. Hyperactive mental activity (depending on the structure of consciousness, relative intelligence, creative capacity, and familial support) could imply savant, high-functioning autism (Asperger’s—restrictive and highly repetitive interests and behavior) prodigious, or precocious capabilities. Energetically, the root and third eye chakras would be affected, furthering a sense of confusion regarding identity and clear guidance from within. Physically, again stress, fatigue, difficultly resting, or dropping into REM sleep. Nervous ticks, twitches, shaky hands, headaches, ocular dehydration and degeneration.
Mars in Pisces in the 10th
Mars (cardinal, fire, yang) in Pisces (mutable, water, yin) in the 10th (cardinal, earth, yin) Again, a positive polarity planet in a yin sign and in a yin house… and in opposition. So, there is a consistent tension—albeit the Uranus configuration is analogous through rulership, Mars via mode. This seems to echo a kind of disillusion, isolation, and suffering. Escape through fantasy, disassociation, and addiction. Confusion and loss of identity seemingly transcended (spiritualized) through entertainment, drugs & alcohol, disconnected sex. This reminds me of the riddle: what gets larger the more you take away? Perhaps there could be the possibility of being an inspired musician or artist, a visionary on some level? Dreams needing to be documented. I’m not sure why I can’t think of a happy scenario for this man…why I’m getting a sense of struggle. On the physical level, issues of the immune system and the blood e.g. sickle-cell anaemia, poor circulation, vasculitis, varicosity, thrombosis. The three lowest chakras (root, sacral, navel) would be prone to disrupting the others. This would be a conscious choice to engage in pranic breath, vipassana meditation, or other practices that are both invigorating and grounding.
11/13 I am not sure how I forgot to mention the feet--lack of circulation, numbness, prone to injury etc.
P.S. Here is a poem I recalled in the early hours writing this entry. I wonder if it fits the essence of this character.
You always called late and drunk,
your voice luxurious with pain,
I, tightly wrapped in dreaming,
listening as if to a ghost.
Tonight a friend called to say your body
was found in your apartment, where
it had lain for days. You'd lost your job,
stopped writing, saw nobody for weeks.
Your heart, he said. Drink had destroyed you.
We met in a college town, first teaching jobs,
poems flowing from a grief we enshrined
with myth and alcohol. I envied the way
women looked at you, a bear blunt with rage,
tearing through an ever-darkening wood.
Once we traded poems like photos of women
whose beauty tested God's faith. 'Read this one
about how friendship among the young can't last,
it will rip your heart out of your chest!'
Once you called to say J was leaving,
the pain stuck in your throat like a razor blade.
A woman was calling me back to bed
so I said I'd call back. But I never did.
The deep forlorn smell of moss and pine
behind your stone house, you strumming
and singing Lorca, Vallejo, De Andrade,
as if each syllable tasted of blood,
as if you had all the time in the world. . .
You knew your angels loved you
but you also knew they would leave
someone they could not save.