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Elen
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« Reply #60 on: Apr 24, 2010, 02:36 PM »

Thank you Stephen, Adina and Dhyana.  Tears are in my eyes and heart.

Peace to you,
Ellen
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Dhyana
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« Reply #61 on: Apr 24, 2010, 02:52 PM »

...mine too Ellen~


And for all of us with strong Virgo tendencies especially, I leave the following quote...

...A Great and Most Loving, Recent Sage of India, Ramana Maharshi, once said "Self-Doubt is the Final Obstacle"


3~
Dhyana
« Last Edit: Apr 24, 2010, 03:00 PM by Dhyana » Logged
Elen
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« Reply #62 on: Apr 24, 2010, 03:15 PM »

...mine too Ellen~


And for all of us with strong Virgo tendencies especially, I leave the following quote...

...A Great and Most Loving, Recent Sage of India, Ramana Maharshi, once said "Self-Doubt is the Final Obstacle"


3~
Dhyana

Oh, that is lovely and so perfect, Dhyana!  Thank you.

Ellen
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Dhyana
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« Reply #63 on: Apr 24, 2010, 03:24 PM »

Thanks to all of you too, for being so naked on here...

...For not letting "how you may look or be interpreted" to stop u from sharing - what a gift -a far reaching gift ~

What Core Honesty and Integrity...

I'm speechless, really

Love, Love, Love
dhyana
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Dhyana
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« Reply #64 on: Apr 24, 2010, 03:51 PM »

I guess I am not done on this thread yet, bc i was re-reading a few pages back and I felt to share something again, as i read this from stephen:


STEPHEN WRITES _" Thanks Heather for the kindness.  Just posting, exposing that stuff, has had an effect on me.  I feel more resolved to stick to the path of Returning to the Source.  I keep myself away from too much, already.  I can't understand that about me...maybe I shouldn't try, in the vein of 'Get thee behind me, Satan.'  Maybe I should just note the pull to keep myself away from things, and then not succumb to it.  However, under the Jungian concept of entering the darkness of the unconscious to bring it to consciousness, and so integrate it...I follow myself down into the pit of me, when a door opens (bold mine).  If anyone can teach me the flaw of following that process, I would really appreciate it."
(And btw, this could have been me writing this Stephen. I mean I totally "get you" here... bc, like, you do not want to be avoiding or escaping anything either, u know? --what a fine line we walk here, and only we can tell the absolute truth, alone, to ourself, about what we are doing too, bc it can be so individual ... This  razors edge does require an inner peccability and a real self honesty.)

Well, anyway, along the lines of this same theme you were reffering to about following yourself down the pit, etc., (u know, what I bolded from your writing)-- Well, to comment on this --I was once told by a very wise EA astrologer who addressed this theme with me, asking me THIS; "do you think perhaps that you could be done ATONING yet?"

Very wise query to ask me, eh?-- maybe it is a good one for you too?  

And thanks stephen for reminding me about it.


3~
Dhyana

« Last Edit: Apr 24, 2010, 04:36 PM by Dhyana » Logged
stephen
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« Reply #65 on: Apr 25, 2010, 09:48 AM »

...you've just proven evil's existence to yourself!  That is sure one way the little bugger works, i.e., it creates the opposite reality intended. In this case, you both are consciously moving toward the light, and so Lucifer steps in and, voila! He tries to plant the exact opposite thought. (Remember, Lucifer is still in Gemini until the 28th). And with the Virgo emphasis....he also plants DOUBT! 
So BRAVO to BOTH of you for immediately kicking the crap of the little bugger and tuning in to your true nature!

Adina!

Simply: Thanks.  Before, I have read about this and read about this...and finally, that statement of yours drove it home.  Thanks for taking the time to post this...to reach me with this.  I think I get it...

Blessings,
Stephen
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stephen
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« Reply #66 on: Apr 25, 2010, 10:13 AM »

And for all of us with strong Virgo tendencies especially, I leave the following quote...
...A Great and Most Loving, Recent Sage of India, Ramana Maharshi, once said "Self-Doubt is the Final Obstacle"
Dhyana

  PEACE TO YOU, Ellen!

  Dhyana, Thanks for that quote!  ((Does the fact that it is the final obstacle mean that you know have the courage to acdcept and transform the remaining obstacles??))  And, in the same vein, thanks for:
"do you think perhaps that you could be done ATONING yet?"
Oh YES...it is for this type of feedback that I posted, I expect.  What a help is here, what compassion on a shared path...thanks (from a re-opening Heart)

Thanks to all of you too, for being so naked on here...
...For not letting "how you may look or be interpreted" to stop u from sharing - what a gift -a far reaching gift ~

  OH, YOU GET IT...You get it...it was/is very hard for me to let go...(voluntarily - or was it pulled from me?)...to let go of the Myth of Stephen, the perfect student, never-unprepared, always harder on myself than my teachers (even in Martial Arts)...and MORE, which I don't need to belabor here...  The strain of that cracked me a bit, I have learned over the last months, and I asked the Mother 'What to do...?'  and was answered, 'follow the opening'  But, of course, I went overboard (literally, and was in DEEP water).  HAH!  I read a book very recently, 'Surviving Borderline Parents', and one of the clients stated, 'I can't live at my own level of expectation.  So, my new mantra, for awhile, is: "Strive to achieve mediocrity!" ' HAH again!  THAT was a good moment of clarity (you have to take that advice in the way that it was meant...I'm sure you get it!)

  So...Blessings and Peace to All who Read This,
Stephen


(And...back to Practice Charts thread...to read the past 30-odd pages in preparation for rejoining the group ...ya'll have certainly moved very far, very fast in THAT thread...Sincere congratulations!)

Smiley
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Eric
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« Reply #67 on: Apr 25, 2010, 01:01 PM »

Hi Stephen,
So glad you have reappeared Smiley.
Wanted to share some recent realizations which seem to coincide with your posting here again. Still a work in progress but our charts share some similar structure (Nov.'62 and houses less than 30 degrees apart). The resonance I felt with your struggle in previous posts is because I could easily project myself into the midst/myst./mist or maybe more appropriately fog.

So I'd like to share a small but vital bit of clarity which has appeared for me (and for which the ramifications are still unfolding) which I hope might be of value. If I'm off the mark please disregard this and forgive me for my continuing projections...

First off, I want to honor the eloquent way in which you have expressed your relationship and connection to Goddess. There is an undeniable feeling here, and you have a gift simply in being able to reflect the ultimate beauty of that truth to others. All of this stems from that feeling of connection which runs deep like a clear pool at the bottom of a waterfall, which stretches back to a long river, whose tributaries have stretched back into an entire watershed, whose mountains rise from a coastline...
In and of itself, that feeling remains unbroken. This I would say is the shimmering radiance in the mercurial nature of lucifer.

And then there is doubt, confusion,and a host of emotional baggage. Conscious and subconscious memories where in past, the soul has chosen lifetimes where unthinkable events have occurred and because of that another choice was made to distrust and disassociate with soul. As if our ego would have been able to make better choices on its own!

For me this realization initially surfaced after working with Patricia Walsh. She suggested that I might find some clarity through rebirthing particularly since in my solar return had a strong 4th emphasis. After going through that, it did indeed shed a lot of light on dynamics I have carried forward which were ego driven right out of the womb!

This is how that separation from soul showed up right from the get go for me. The influence of evil/lucifer in separating my soul from it's natural connection with source. Self induced.

I had asked my mother about the circumstances surrounding my birth, and the only part that stood out because her pregnancy was was good and uneventful really was that she was overdue by a week or so and her labor was induced.
Going back into her womb, prior to the birth I found myself in a place which was unparalleled in comfort. Like being held in suspension with source. Warm, dark, timeless, utterly secure- no awareness of outside anything. Only unity with the feeling that all was perfect.
As my birth approached, my awareness began to stretch outward. Extremely subtle feelers began to emerge out of the feeling of perfection towards my external circumstance preparing to unfold. So far so good, but my soul knew something was about to transpire.
Soon, those receptive feelers began to receive signals (pitocin)that change was eminent and immediately my ego was born before my body. Soul stretched out into the room, looked around and found the doctor willfully interjecting. My ego said, what the fuck are you doing!, I'm not ready to come out yet!, you're fucking up my whole plan!
And the trap was laid. Ego simultaneously remembered and forgot that soul had hatched a plan. In that moment ego said "don't trust soul, don't trust doctors, don't trust anyone who thinks they know better than you, we were shooting for a moment just a bit further down the road, and now you've gone and shot that plan all to hell".
What ego didn't fathom, is that maybe if it carried out plans according to it's own desire, maybe it would have put my mothers health in jeopardy. In fact several days later the moon would be in conjunction with pluto and that's where I think the little "i" was headed.
Which brings me back to trust. Upon reflection, it seems that there was a guiding hand there. That while the little "i's" desire was thwarted, there was a larger picture unfolding where the hand of grace came in and averted a potential disaster.
While this is a personal story, there are some ties which appear in our charts, so I am hoping it is useful if only to point towards another potential avenue where some clarity might be obtained. Of course, your birth story will have it's own nuances, but I have found this one exercise illuminating.

Neptune in the 8th/Sco. (loss of soul)squaring not only the lunar nodes, but Neptunes nodes in opposition to Mars which itself squares the nodes. Also with your Venus conj. the N.Nodes of Moon/Neptune Leo 5th you are wanting to actualize that connection with Goddess, it's just that there has also been a desire to separate your soul from that experience because of trust issues and doubt with your own soul -Pluto/Virgo/6th.

So it seems to me that redemption is at hand. Goddess is inviting your soul back home. Ego and left brain exercises need a break, and those feeling tentacles which you yourself described in a previous post reach back toward her. They work in both directions.

Another point I found interesting is that you had said you had been wearing an Anch, the symbol of Isis/Venus. In your chart the asteroids Isis, Osiris, and Lucifer are all conjunct Pluto. Since you are wearing her symbol I'm sure you are familiar with the story. Isis and Osiris who were brother/sister/lovers also had a brother Set or Seth, who seems to look a lot like Lucifer to me. Patricia Walsh in her new book (which is exellent!) correlates Scorpio to Egypt so this story also seems to fit with your Neptune and aspects to your Pluto stellium.
Archetypally, all of these characters can play out their story within our own story. Osiris is murdered by his own brother (ego) and torn to pieces (soul fragmentation). He is reborn and immortalized through the help of his sister (divine lover/Goddess). Still trying to figure out the deal with the poor bastards penis being absconded by a fish or alligator:) Maybe it ties in with circumcision which is another thing soul didn't give me a heads up on (so to speak)! Regardless, a story to sit with I think.

One more bit relating back to birth and hospitals to ponder for those so inclined. Pitocin  is a synthetic formulation of oxytocin which naturally sets birth in motion. Pitocin contains a preservative called chlorobutanol which is a chloroform derivitive. Nice.

Goddess Bless,
Eric
 
 







 
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mountainheather
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« Reply #68 on: Apr 25, 2010, 03:00 PM »

Thanks Adina for setting up the post about masochis. (and to the others on the mb at work here) I have started the process of writing down the negative side and am surprised at the amount, deluge, of negative talk going on...strangely, or not, I came on the mb to re- read about the technique you posted and I cannot find it here anymore, has it been posted to another thread? on the path of light....Heather
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Elen
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« Reply #69 on: Apr 25, 2010, 03:07 PM »

Thanks Adina for setting up the post about masochis. (and to the others on the mb at work here) I have started the process of writing down the negative side and am surprised at the amount, deluge, of negative talk going on...strangely, or not, I came on the mb to re- read about the technique you posted and I cannot find it here anymore, has it been posted to another thread? on the path of light....Heather

Hi Heather,

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here as I was just responding to Adina's post.  It's on the thread called, "Technique to Eliminate Masochism".

Wishing you well,
Ellen
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Wendy
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« Reply #70 on: Apr 25, 2010, 07:55 PM »

Back to the synchronicity. The "lovely" Lucifer will enter the sign of Cancer next week (April 28) and will remain there for the next three months - until July 29. I was talking to another council member about this and we feel it's a great time to look at this influence again, especially in light of what's going on here in the U.S. and the rest of the world, and of course, on an individual level since evil's primary way of getting to us is through our emotional body--where we're most emotionally weak. So I'll be starting a separate thread and starting with the U.S. chart, and then bring in more individual examples. In the meantime, we can also continue here.

Hi Stephen, Adina, Dhyana and all,

Thank you Stephen for posting your experiences.  You surely are not alone.  Many of us have been faced with some heavy energies, me particularly over the last several years.  I am soooo glad Lucifer is moving out of Gemini!!!  It has been in Gemini since June of 2009 and is finally moving on--the little bugger!!!  I have lots of mutable planets (all four signs), and all directly aspect my natal Pluto-nodes, so lots of karmic stuff and challenges to my peaceful and spiritually sincere life.

Prior to that Lucifer stationed in Pisces and retrograded, making its stay in Pisces extensive (April 08 - January 09) too!  It's been a true test for the mutable signs for a while now.  I guess it's our turn Sad or was! 

I didn't have a label for what was happening then, as I just learned about Lucifer a couple of months ago.  So now that I am consciously aware of it, I can really feel it's impact and influence and I feel better equipped to manage the challenges and opportunities it brings.

Much love to all...may the force (of light) be with you Stephen!

Wendy
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Wendy
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« Reply #71 on: Apr 25, 2010, 08:13 PM »

Patricia Walsh in her new book (which is exellent!) correlates Scorpio to Egypt so this story also seems to fit with your Neptune and aspects to your Pluto stellium.

Goddess Bless,
Eric

Thanks for sharing this--I felt pulled to order Patrica's book and your sharing helps me understand why. 


Wendy
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Dhyana
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« Reply #72 on: Apr 25, 2010, 09:34 PM »

(Revision of earlier post)

Hi Stephen,  you are very beautiful and open. I love that in you!

...so, in reply--

IN REGARDS TO- the following quote...
...A Great and Most Loving, Recent Sage of India, Ramana Maharshi, once said "Self-Doubt is the Final Obstacle"


Stephen Writes- "Dhyana, Thanks for that quote!  ((Does the fact that it is the final obstacle mean that you now have the courage to accept and transform the remaining obstacles??))"
  Stephen, please, do bear with me on this lengthy post bc I am promising that it is all leading to my specific response to the question you pose above. So again, please bare with it bc it is going somewhere.... it is a cohesive whole~

Ramana Maharshi has also been quoted to say it this way, also -"The ONLY Obstacle is Self Doubt"-

In the context of EA, and from the most clear and contemplative heart space I can write from, I will give you my experience with the quote, and I will try to overlay it with my EA experience,
--(and keep in mind, I'm no expert on the subject, but just BEING HUMAN and as HONEST as possible. While knowing how I have been resonating deeply and directly to the penetrating vibration of that quote, and a deep heart contemplation of it over the last 17 years of my life. In that,  I suppose it is my duty to respond, from my own experience and share w/ out thought of how I will be interpreted or seen-- so here goes my best, from my HEART and SOUL, & humbly so )--

 There is no DOUBT that ones REAL nature is SOUL(Self, in Ramana's language).  I mean we know we didn't make ourselves, so even logically speaking, we must be then, THAT same stuff, from whence we came = SOURCE (Soul), isn't it?
 
So therefore, anything that arises that has us Doubt THAT, we must clearly discriminate(Virgo higher octave) it for what it is --a lie, a denial, about our very nature.

And surely, living this lie about our very nature, living in denial, can be, and is being experienced and lived by the majority, as if it were literally true (Virgo DENIAL)! -- That we are not from whence we came. It is almost as if, because of it's utter obviousness, and it's simplicity (although not simplistic), it can so easily be shrugged off, trivialized and denied.

--  Simply look at the state of the world; this experience of living in DENIAL of our NATURAL SELF/SOUL/SOURCE[/b]), is killing us!---All the separating desires in EA terms... And we cry "victim"  (and "victimizers") (Virgo).

But in Reality, in actuality, it is a lie, a denial of our SOUL... and in living that lie, as if it were true, we perpetuate all the ills and cruelty we do here. And I believe much of this is the result of layer and layers of unconsciousness all hemmed upon an unnecessary guilt, so much so, that we don't even know it is there, it is so buried! There is so much repression from that we are all lashing out at eachother, some of us as victims and some of us as perpertators.

 We could stop lying to ourselves about our REAL Nature, (break free from Virgo Denial etc. etc.) our NATURAL SELF, our SOUL SELF, what we Naturally are!  As much as to stop DENYING our REAL Love Call, our legitimate Need and Deepest Soul Wanting of THIS, of what is NATURALLY SO and NATURAL TO US, and really, really embrace it, all the way!  And that's what many of us here are doing. But in doing so, we also must embrace the  emotional pain that is eons old, that is the result of long lived lifetimes of denial. It is still all there, whirling in our genetic make-up, to be MET!  And that is not at all comfortable --so that is where we may feel these seemingly numerous "obstacles".

Let me try to get to my point with all this IMHO---
The best I can do at the moment, with words is to say that, in my own experience, I sense that the seeming obstacles come along with our choice and journey to finally know who we are -- and in OUR THAWING OUT PROCESS, or in this "merging/evolution process" as EA might put it, from the lie and our untangling of this intricate web of denial and lie upon lie, that is old and ancient.

This thawing out and unwinding this knot of identification that has been held so tight for eons, is not too comfortable, is it? Did you ever do that experiment with your fist? Where you hold it really really tight for many minutes and then slowly try to reopen it?  Well, IT HURTS, and it hurts A LOT! And at times, while opening it, it actually gets stuck in one spot --try it it and see.

Well, I think the seeming many obstacles can be likened to all that pain and stuck-ness you must go through to get your hand all opened up, but the real or ONLY obstacle was actually, the realization that YOU HAD YOUR HAND CLOSED and it is meant TO BE OPEN  and in that CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE you had, you made the most obvious CHOICE, consciously,  TO DO SO, you know?  I mean it would be the OBVIOUS OPTION, simply because, you desire your HAND TO BE AS IT IS MEANT TO BE!  And you don't do it because your "a good boy" or because "it was spiritually right" or because you were "morally required"  to, YOU DID IT BC IT WAS/IS NATURAL for you to do! -- Even though it hurts while opening it, and you also know it is gonna feel stuck in one spot once in a while! You still chose to open it, nonetheless, so youre obviously just going to get on with it, right?
It was/is just what WORKS!

ALL the overlay of patriarchal spirituality is almost designed to have you feel like there is this big battle inside you about this OPENING to your SELF or SOUL, but the crux of it is based on something that is "moral" rather than something so NATURAL, and this has led to such UNECESSARY GUILT, (layers and layers of guilt, on top of an ancient denial of such OBVIOUS NATRUAL-NESS).  It's just so crazy to me!  I believe JWG said that over 80 or 90% (not sure exactly) of guilt is CONDITIONED! ... I almost wonder if it is even more?

Anyhow, IMHO, it is really NOT some moral thing here to BE TRUE to YOURSELF, it is simply NATURAL to you and IT is the only thing that REALLY WORKS! It's FUNCTIONAL, but not always COMFORTABLE!

Now, coming back to the quote, and the word "SELF" in that quote --it is not like we are talking about some "transcended existential "Self" to remove us from the whole mess & escape into, or something! That is 'old hat' --and part of the undiscriminated mind ( Virgo lower vibration), and hence, still part of the lie....It also denies the EARTH, our MOTHER, hence still very patriarchal, in theory. It is not like we are supposed transcend the pain and take off in some exalted higher self or something --you know? It is not that kind of thing that the "Self" in the quote above is referring to (at least not in my direct experience). My point with this paragraph is this -- There is no longer an ESCAPE ROUTE from the rawness of LIFE, as it is --but at least it is REAL --at least it isn't a lie!  And that's not comfortable, but it sure is HONEST. (And I must acknowlege my dear teacher for her relentlessly pointing me into this clarity!)
  
So, the uncomfortableness that is occurring as one claims back their Natural Soul/Self, (or with the hand example  'When One Realizes The Hand Is To Be Opened) can be what you are referring to as "remaining obstacles", But Stephen, keep your EYE ON THE BALL which is obviously,YOUR NATURAL NATURE, Your SELF/SOUL/SOURCE; or whatever you call it - and ESPECIALLY NOTE YOUR NATURAL LOVE of IT, NEED for IT, WANT for IT, AND this DIVINE LONGING FOR IT!  )We/you don't need to DOUBT it and second guess it  because IT'S obviously the only real thing about us/you! . And in my experience this lifetime, that's what I try to do-- "keep my eye on the ball", and yea, it is not always obvious either, but the more I do it when it is obvious , the more I can do it when it is not!--You get what I mean there? And just expect that in this unwinding, everything under the sun, often in the most sublte, surprising and undetectable ways, is going to occur, especially when we get too comfortable for our own good, hence static and resisting our continuous and precious flowering of our NATURAL SELF.

...Why? Why would we be thwarted etc. --I would humbly say, so that we can KNOW, beyond a shadow of a DOUBT -- the true Heart Knowledge, that this IS REALLY SO!
 what we ARE is, just the SAME as REALITY is! And there is nothing that can truly get in the way of REALITY, now is there?  But this has to be HEART KNOWLEDGE, not theoretical, not even in the subtle states of the mind, you know --and this challenging process, I sense, is designed to ANCHOR such! And to do so, SO COMPLETELY that there is no longer the ability to DENY it!  And so how else can that happen without being RIGHT HERE IN THE DANCE, FULLY ENGAGED and fully challenged, on the very fabric and tapestry of our existence?  Wow, what a SACRED DANCE! We are so lucky to have a human incarnation!


In having Reality dawn on us, we can choose to no longer DOUBT what is Real, as us -- just because IT IS. Even if we have to choose 100,000 times a day, over and over.

"The ONLY Obstacle is Self Doubt".



SO---  best we stop trying the control game to feel "all better"--it isn't gonna work anymore.

--Let what is REAL,simply be REAL for us. --- IT IS WORTH THE Uncomfortableness. Let us have the courage to BE OUR SELF, NATURALLY!

Again, your question was-


"Does the fact that it is the final obstacle mean that you now have the courage to accept and transform the remaining obstacles??"
I would say ,Yes. And there is really NOTHING ELSE TO DO at this point, if we tell the truth about it!  Keeping your eye on the ball, on YOUR SELF & on YOUR UNDENIABLE LOVE FOR THAT --this will muster up all THE COURAGE u need!  Is it not the very FOUNTAIN OF STRENGTH, the Strength of Pure LOVE of DIVINE MOTHER (and remember, SHE GIVES BIRTH to LIFE through her agonizing birthing pains!)?  Is it not also the Strength of your very LIFE FORCE, hence the same thing that has given rise to the COSMOS?

So, I would say that this courage is NATURALLY available in this, even if we don't always "feel" it at the moment, we somehow KNOW in our HEART it is there.. would'nt you agree?  Oh, and remember the other way it was quoted "THE ONLY OBSTACLE  IS SELF DOUBT"

So YES, I would say,yes -- how about you?


This is not a theory I write or anything --it is words that have sprung from my own direct experience, nakedly, as this moment, from the depths of my SOUL.

I hope it was useful and in service to  REALITY.

3~ Know Thyself 3~
Dhyana
« Last Edit: Apr 26, 2010, 04:18 AM by Dhyana » Logged
Dhyana
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« Reply #73 on: Apr 25, 2010, 09:35 PM »

PS.    Shocked WOA! I needed that, Stephen, just as much as you may have. In fact, probably more so. LOL. I just re-read it and I cannot even believe i wrote it,  Where did that come from!? LOL!

(yet even this i just said, "i can't even believe i wrote it" precludes that i am some static thing. Well, I can't articulate this any further bc then it will turn into some "woo woo" thing, that i don't mean it to become --hmmm? i will just leave this one alone) tee hee  Grin

So, thank you, dear Stephen, for the opportunity again --4  reminding me Wink

ALL LOVE,
Such Grace,
3~
Dhyana
« Last Edit: Apr 26, 2010, 01:59 AM by Dhyana » Logged
Wendy
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« Reply #74 on: Apr 25, 2010, 10:05 PM »

Hi Stephen,

I just read through the entire post you shared in this thread from last year.  I learned so much and I am so grateful you had the courage to share your heart here.  It really is giving me much more insight into myself and others.  I too have Pluto in Virgo, though aspected differently, so the masochist thing I understand.  When I first found JWG Pluto book, just reading the description of Virgo of traumatizing for me, but I couldn't stop reading, over and over.  I wanted to understand more.  That was thirteen years ago, and I am still learning so much. 

Also, I am fairly new to the EA forum and I appreciate participating in this thread.

Blessings,
Wendy
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