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Author Topic: evil?  (Read 11307 times)
Dhyana
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« Reply #75 on: Apr 26, 2010, 02:46 AM »

ps. i just thought of something i heard about "guilt"

"guilt is not a feeling state, it is A THOUGHT, or a THINKING STATE that is avoiding FEELING something deeper."

well, it went something like that...

very virgo/mercury, eh?

3~
Dhyana
« Last Edit: Apr 26, 2010, 02:47 AM by Dhyana » Logged
stephen
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« Reply #76 on: Apr 26, 2010, 07:52 AM »

To All,

Eric,
  Thanks for taking the amount of time to post that information...to reach out to me...and also reach into yourself.
  It was very very helpful...a 'Voice of Remind' that could have come echoing up from deep within myself, it was so right on the mark.

   Several years ago, I was at a reading of the Osiris/Isis story, and a flood of energy splashed into my chest, and I lost knowledge of me, and then lived each part in the tale (even the blinded ferry guard) as it was told to the group.  In some cases, I was acting out before he spoke...even parts of the tale that I did not know.  I was drawing symbols on the floor (hurt my finger nails!), crying/moaning/beseeching out to the Earth to help me find the direction to the parts of my beloved Osiris (when I was Isis), with blubbering heart-wrencing sobs (I was told afterwards)...  I was the fierce hatred of life and rule as Set, I was gentleness and kind order as Osiris...  (It was rather disruptive for the others, I was told later by some... Wink )  Just throwing that out there in response to the Egypt thing.

  I have held myself away from the Mother...and am learning why, now.  I didn't accept my previous-life choices is a part of it, as you stated.  Yep, I have heard it and heard it...and now know I will action it.  My son (8yrs) told my wife and I about a month ago:  'I don't like this chanting you guys do (he calls us 'you guys' sometimes!), I don't like it when you Bless me and Bless the food and Bless the bedtime...AND I don't like God!' (ending on a defiant note, arms folded over his heart).  I just smiled, gathered him in for a hug, and asked him why?  He doesn't know, and 'You'll make me angry if you talk about it.'  So...another hug and a bigger smile, and I let it (and him) go (for now).
  However, he is one of the most compassionate people I know...truly compassionate in his heart, and not working at compassion like me.  So, I now realize that this distance I have placed between the God'dess and me was so that I could learn how to come back, and then translate that return into how to help him to come back, as he becomes ready (and of course any others who let God'dess reach them through me).
  I have been through a rebirth ceremony, and in reliving it...I almost died, choking and choking, and the hatred from my birth mother!, and it took the help of the moderator to convince me to breathe (yes, drama...drama...drama!).  Afterwards, I called my mom and casually was like: 'So...nice day, yeah?...um...so what was my birth like...?'  She said I was born with the cord around my neck, I was scrawny, and I died on the table and had to be resuscitated.  Then, equally casually, 'You were an unexpected pregnancy...'  and what I got was (from the rebirthing) also unwanted.  Unwanted in the womb...unwanted on the table...unwanted as a child.
  So...yes, lots there.  And now I know from EA to ask, 'Why did my Soul choose to be born into these circumstances?'  And the answer is coming to me from readings, from posts such as yours and Wendy's and Dhyana's and Adina's and Heather's and Steve's and Rad's and Lia's and Lesley's and....everyone's... overflowing with compassionate knowledge to ACT upon (and occasionally a nudge into action, too, yeah? Wink ).  This is itself a lesson-through-example in compassionate helping, in caring counseling.  I needed to learn this right-brain caring apparently before learning the left-brain technology of EA (which itself leads us back to the right-brain = Virgo to Pisces).   For me, the quest for information has changed into a pursuit of knowledge to actually implement (and not to just learn and place into files!).

To All,
  Apparently, posting this has helped others to post...and more importantly, look within.  (If this is blurring over into social networking, then it is the best kind!!)  The knowledge of the past and the Why? is the Technology/Brain of EA, but the implementation of the resolution seems to me to be the Soul/Heart of EA...the actual resolution phase of this work.  I read recently in a How to...Therapy type of book, that the resolution of an intense emotional state often requires an equally intense emotional state - simply 'knowing' the occurence is not always enough, the knowing often needs to occur in an emotional way...there must be investment.  Perhaps, for me (and others here who this thread has touched/activated?) the exposure in such a public forum was the crucible which created that intense emotional state.  (I am sleeping better, now...anywho...)

  So...thanks to everyone who has helped me to invest...and perhaps, has become more invested themselves once again...?!?

Blessings to ALL you wonderful helping Souls,
Stephen

To Wendy,
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Much love to all...may the force (of light) be with you Stephen!

Thank you Thank you Thank you...And with YOU!!


To Dhyana,
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you are very beautiful and open. I love that in you!
. . .
I hope it was useful and in service to  REALITY.

Thank you very much...and right back atcha Wink
Your posting was very welcome, very timely, and so 'spot on'.  I have printed it out to carry around and reread...  Soooo well said...


Blessings All
 
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adina
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« Reply #77 on: Apr 26, 2010, 08:02 AM »

Thanks to ALL of you who have been posting to this thread and supporting each other. The topic of the thread is 'evil,' but as we all know, the flip side of Lucifer as evil - the antidote - is Lucifer as the Bearer of Light.... and that's what I see in all these posts....  the Light Bearer in action.


God bless!
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Eric
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« Reply #78 on: Apr 26, 2010, 11:18 AM »

Hi Stephen,
You are welcome and thank you for having the courage to expose yourself here. To reference Patricia again she says "see , you just can't make this stuff up". The symbols correlate to actual experience and visa versa.
Also I wanted to say thank you to the moderators for occasionally allowing the space for some of these personal stories to play out a bit here. For those of us with Virgo/doubt tendencies, the opportunity to see these correlations through actual experience is useful in bringing EA home.

Also to touch upon what Adina wrote:
Quote
Thanks to ALL of you who have been posting to this thread and supporting each other. The topic of the thread is 'evil,' but as we all know, the flip side of Lucifer as evil - the antidote - is Lucifer as the Bearer of Light.... and that's what I see in all these posts....  the Light Bearer in action.
and combine it with what Stephen says:
Quote
the Technology/Brain of EA, but the implementation of the resolution seems to me to be the Soul/Heart of EA...the actual resolution phase of this work.
When the "technology"/tool or left brain information of EA is wedded to the Heart/Soul of Ea the true power of this paradigm manifests into a momentary celebration of union, thus sewing the seeds into the fabric which surrounds us as we transition through these times...
Thank you all,
Goddess Bless.
Eric
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stephen
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« Reply #79 on: Apr 26, 2010, 02:06 PM »

Also I wanted to say thank you to the moderators for occasionally allowing the space for some of these personal stories to play out a bit here. For those of us with Virgo/doubt tendencies, the opportunity to see these correlations through actual experience is useful in bringing EA home.

Rad, Deva, Adina, Steve, Moderators et al.,

I would like to second that!!

Thanks and Blessings,
Stephen

Smiley
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Dhyana
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« Reply #80 on: Apr 26, 2010, 03:08 PM »

Also I wanted to say thank you to the moderators for occasionally allowing the space for some of these personal stories to play out a bit here. For those of us with Virgo/doubt tendencies, the opportunity to see these correlations through actual experience is useful in bringing EA home.

Rad, Deva, Adina, Steve, Moderators et al.,

I would like to second that!!

Thanks and Blessings,
Stephen

Smiley


----------------------------------------

Yes, me too --Thank You. I know how long the one I wrote ended up being, and I thank you truly. I won't make a habit of that.

Dhyana

« Last Edit: Apr 26, 2010, 06:20 PM by Dhyana » Logged
Elen
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« Reply #81 on: Apr 26, 2010, 07:25 PM »

Wow, Dhyana...  What you wrote really hit home with me.  The whole thing, but especially this:

"This thawing out and unwinding this knot of identification that has been held so tight for eons, is not too comfortable, is it? Did you ever do that experiment with your fist? Where you hold it really really tight for many minutes and then slowly try to reopen it?  Well, IT HURTS, and it hurts A LOT! And at times, while opening it, it actually gets stuck in one spot --try it it and see.

"Well, I think the seeming many obstacles can be likened to all that pain and stuck-ness you must go through to get your hand all opened up, but the real or ONLY obstacle was actually, the realization that YOU HAD YOUR HAND CLOSED and it is meant TO BE OPEN  and in that CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE you had, you made the most obvious CHOICE, consciously,  TO DO SO, you know?  I mean it would be the OBVIOUS OPTION, simply because, you desire your HAND TO BE AS IT IS MEANT TO BE!  And you don't do it because your "a good boy" or because "it was spiritually right" or because you were "morally required"  to, YOU DID IT BC IT WAS/IS NATURAL for you to do! -- Even though it hurts while opening it, and you also know it is gonna feel stuck in one spot once in a while! You still chose to open it, nonetheless, so youre obviously just going to get on with it, right?
It was/is just what WORKS!"


Thank you so much for sharing this.


STEPHEN, what a wonderful conversation you opened up.  Thank you.

Wishing you all well,
Ellen

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Dhyana
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« Reply #82 on: Apr 26, 2010, 07:32 PM »

 yes, that was indeed my favorite part too ellen! i almost think that that was all that was needed, really.

(well, with my jupiter in h6 leo, i do sometimes go overboared, i must admit --tee hee)

anyhow, i know what you mean about that part bc i still get so much out of reading it myself, as if i didnt even write it!

love to you ellen, my soul friend,
dhyana
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Elen
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« Reply #83 on: Apr 26, 2010, 07:33 PM »

Dhyana,

This, too, was right on for me!  

Ellen


ps. i just thought of something i heard about "guilt"

"guilt is not a feeling state, it is A THOUGHT, or a THINKING STATE that is avoiding FEELING something deeper."

well, it went something like that...

very virgo/mercury, eh?

3~
Dhyana
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stephen
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Posts: 155


« Reply #84 on: Apr 27, 2010, 09:03 AM »

Quote
STEPHEN, what a wonderful conversation you opened up.  Thank you.

Ellen,
  Oh Yes...this thread has touched me (and probably many others who are not posting a response!)
As Adina said, this thread, and the support it represents, is the Bearer of Light itself helping us 'kick the little bugger's' own Dark Side (thanks for that, Adina).

Quote
...bc i still get so much out of reading it myself, as if i didnt even write it!

Where did that come from!? LOL!

Dhyana,
  Sometimes (it seems to me) a person's internal wisdom flares forth when an external event (question, crisis,expectation) sparks it...  I am soooo glad you were 'sparked' and you shared the blaze!

  Other than what you and Ellen wrote as especially illuminating (which I agree with, btw), here is the part which WHAMMED me upside the head (in a GOOD way! Smiley ):

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...this has to be HEART KNOWLEDGE, not theoretical, not even in the subtle states of the mind, you know
...so how else can that happen without being RIGHT HERE IN THE DANCE, FULLY ENGAGED and fully challenged, on the very fabric and tapestry of our existence?  Wow, what a SACRED DANCE! We are so lucky to have a human incarnation!

And:  this next part reminds me of a poem I once read, by Anne Dillard from 'Teaching a Stone to Talk' (I think):
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...choose 100,000 times a day, over and over.

I have printed that out, and hung it over my computer at work (really):

100,000 TIMES A DAY...OVER AND OVER

Blessings,
Stephen
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PamS
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« Reply #85 on: Apr 27, 2010, 12:51 PM »

Hi All,

thank you all for sharing so much of yourselves, I very much appreciate it... And to Stephen, I have thought I was evil many a time... I know I have battled with those forces, but as one wise (ass or sage- sometimes no difference) said if you were really evil then you would not be asking yourself the question to being with....  I think there is much to be gain from diving into the depths so hang on and keep on keeping on.....

Dhyanna,

The insight about quilt,  guilt is not a feeling state, it is A THOUGHT, or a THINKING STATE that is avoiding FEELING something deeper."...


I agree with you and I dont... Gulit is a feeling, but as Wolf says and this has been my personal experience.  There is conditioned quilt and there is unconditioned quilt.  Wolf has the example of natural quilt, If you throw a baby in the street and it dies, you should feel guilty.  If you deeply take advantage of someone, you should feel guilty.  I have heard lots of people talk about guilt, some say it is UN processed remorse, guilt is for an audience, remorse is for your soul etc etc....  James Hillman the Jungian analyst says guilt is a   profound way he has to find consciousness..... 

Per your example, guilt just might be a cover up for other feelings, it sounds like you have lots of the Virgo overlay ( as alot of us do around here- including me)... But your relationship to guilt might be intellectual, but underneath that is a guilt that is natural.. once again as with so much in this process, differentiating between the two will be and is the task.....



blessings,

pam
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Dhyana
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« Reply #86 on: Apr 27, 2010, 01:31 PM »

Yes, Pam. What you stated is the same sense I felt when I posted that quote. And I am not even sure if that is how it was worded, anyhow.  My point was/is as you said -- the crux of it being, telling ourselves a story and staying in the head to avoid the experience of the emotional body (atleast that has been a tendency in this life, for me). Wether that be to avoid a natural remorse (which I thank you for clarifying), or an emotionally painful experience induced by taking on a false dogma.

Thanks for your clarification.
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PamS
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« Reply #87 on: Apr 27, 2010, 01:55 PM »

Hi Dyanna,,

yes makes sense to me.... but as you said you have lots of virgo. Whoever told you that you need to stop attoning seems right on to me.     ... and in your case the overwhelming guilt is something that needs to go... but I trust you when you say that your work is sinking into the emotional body and the more and more you do that the easier it will be to differenciate between the quilt that is conditioned garbage and natural remorse.... as well as the feelings that the guilt is covering up.....

thank you for sharing your process.....

xo pam
« Last Edit: Apr 27, 2010, 02:15 PM by PamS » Logged
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