I also wanted to ask about the deep sense of alienation in the 1st stage spiritual. Sometimes my sense of alienation feels more like 2nd stage Individuated in its intensity. Could the sense of alienation in the 1st stage spiritual be even more intense than that experienced in the 2nd stage individuated? Recently I became involved with a friend and a group activity for the sake of assisting her, but the activity was not one I would usually get involved in. Getting involved was detrimental to me - but strengthened my resolve to keep away from those activities, people and energies in the future. Could you please talk more about the deep sense of alienation in the 1st stage spiritual? On an intuitive level, I personally believe this sense of alienation acts as a "separator," allowing us to avoid people and places that are not conducive to our spiritual condition. Does this make sense?
I have quite an affinity for 2nd stage indiv people and condition myself. There are many markings of alienation in my own chart and its something I've struggled with lifelong, initially resisting it for all I could, in recent years learning to increasingly accept it.
It has something to do with this principle of self-honesty that's been discussed here a lot in the last few days. Since we live in a 70% consensus world, the more I insist on being my unique self, the fewer people are going to be able to relate to me, and vice versa. By the time 1st stage spiritual is reached the Soul's begun to recognize to some extent its never going to find ANYTHING in this world it can relate to or feel at home in. That may not be the friendliest news someone has ever received - they are not yet in true communion with the Soul. It creates an increasing sense of aloneness and alienation. On the deepest levels the intention is to force it inward, to learn to build that inner connection. Often times that impulse is resisted for all its worth.
I believe I recall Jeffrey having written once that, coming up through the individuated stages, the Soul has finally won its "hard-won individuality". And now the inner nature is changing and it seems to be getting asked to surrender even this hard won individuality. And the obvious initial response is resistance and "I don't think so". So its a back and forth struggle. Yes, I am remembering now him saying this is the reason for inconsistent practice if moving towards Divinity in the early stages of 1st stage spiritual, back and forth, back and forth.
Its a hard thing to accept, Linda, that you are fundamentally going to feel alienated from 95% of everything you encounter and everyone you meet... In terms of "not an activity I would usually get involved in", there are many reasons this could have happened. Maybe you have past life stuff with that specific person that needed to come out at this time. Maybe it is your skipped step Pluto. Maybe you were giving yet one more try at trying to fit in, to see if possibly this one time you could get away from the alienation, and in the end finding out as usual the answer is No.
These are human things. We all go through them, and have to go through them.